The Only Way I Could Beat Them Was To Punch Them In the Face As Hard As I Could


Konichiwa Bitches! Did you know I spoke French? Now you do. Did you know if you have a milkshake, and I have a milkshake, and I have a straw, and my straw reaches across the room, and starts to drink your milkshake. I...drink...your...milkshake! I drink it up! And I don't even like milkshakes. That's from my 7th favorite film eva, There Will Be Blood.

Step Brothers

This was the funniest clip I could find online, but the funniest was when Brennan literally put his sack on Dale's drums. Considering its from the same family who made this shit, it was probably Will Ferrel's real scrotum we saw. Other than that the movie was nothing special. I kinda got tired of half-heartedly giggling every 2 seconds. Sometimes the guys try too hard (or not) for a cheap laugh than to give us smart comedy. F it...who am I though. My stand-up consists of a shitty Rodney Dangerfield impersonation of 'eh, no respect' and Curb Your Enthusiasm material. Even better (or worse) movie quotes purposefully done with little to no resemblance to the original. You can say my stand-up career is on par with Dane Cook.

My new Onitsuka Tigers

when I bought this pair of shoes, I thought how it would look up your ass the next time you spoke to me. survey sez...go to their ace site

Now that its back to school time for many, I reflect on my greatest achievement...dropping out and owing $13,000. What's the big deal??? Its called pissing in the wind, but cutting off in mid-stream. Do it one day soon or you will end up like these douchers...