The Scars

I have a few. The earliest scar I am aware of is a quarter round 'scar' on the inside of my left knee. It occurred almost 10 years ago from a bicycle accident. I was learning to ride with no hands in the neighborhood. I'd go down a curved hill, cautiously avoiding any cracks or debris in the street while steering with my right hand. After I built up the gumption to do so after about my eight time around I'd slowly raise my left. I succeeded. Then I tried with no hands....an no feet. Thus, a scar was born.

The second, smallest, and by far the most expensive scar is on my left index finger just below the knuckle. Once in time, I was an Assistant Manager at a movie store. As I was stocking the Twizzlers one evening before close I inherited a laceration from a box cutter. To this day, I am clueless as to how it happened and there is no way possible to stage a dramatization of the events, it is universally impossible (my creativity with words). I'm sure the blood on the deposit money left the bankers with room for imagination. After 30 minutes (it is now 1am) of an exaggerated never ending geyser, I saw it fit to drive myself to the medical center. To make a long story longer, I encountered a literal roadblock on the entrance ramp to the interstate and after 5 minutes of fumbling for my license with my good hand, I was allowed to pass. Once I arrived I was immediately triaged and glued back together. No stitches, just glue. $500 glue. The scar curves about an inch.

Then there is that fading scar on my wrist.

It is my philosophy that a scar symbolizes that healing is complete, there is tougher layer there. Most scars don't fade away and serve as a reminder of what happened. When I began this post I would have said I have a figuratively scarred heart...but its more like an open wound. I am bleeding out but attempting to move along. Its a self inflicted wound of sorts so I think I have to go it alone because those 'people' aren't there anymore. When they said start over, I thought they meant start over. When I said I've changed...I meant I'm changing.

Namaste