Showing posts with label fashion. Show all posts
Showing posts with label fashion. Show all posts
The Drink Glass and Rolling Papers
Hi Haters! Summer is just about over and its about time that I rape my budget and throw all my coin away at the local H&M for my 2008 So Sick Fall/Winter Collection. So. Or maybes I could follow my heart and skip a student loan payment...or find a cougar willing to be my sugar momma splurge and head over to Phipps and cop one or all of the following:
I remember when my college roommate would prepare Maruchan Ramen Noodles in the sink...the same sink I used to wash my hands when I finished..playing..rock|paper|scissors..whateva. He would just turn on the hot water, pull up the stopper, and toss in the cube of noodles. Sick. That's how this blog tastes right about nizzow! If it weren't for Chin Up Chin Up balancing my equilibrium I'd probably bulemiate on my keyboard right now.
Speaking of...this weekend I did quite a few chin ups [shots] of various alcoholic beverages and consumed numerous lagers and ales with no hitch...and nothing to tow. I did, however, fulfilled my dream of doing a stand-up comedy bit which featured more theatrics than the Biejing Opening Ceremony. Though, at some points it felt as if I was eugoogoolizing someone. I was wet [wasted] but dry [not-funny].
So...I've got somewhere else to be
Speaking of...this weekend I did quite a few chin ups [shots] of various alcoholic beverages and consumed numerous lagers and ales with no hitch...and nothing to tow. I did, however, fulfilled my dream of doing a stand-up comedy bit which featured more theatrics than the Biejing Opening Ceremony. Though, at some points it felt as if I was eugoogoolizing someone. I was wet [wasted] but dry [not-funny].
So...I've got somewhere else to be
The Cool Nerds: Semi-Autobiographical, sans Cool
Ixnay on the erdNay and orkDay. I know you are but what am I? Whoever smelt it dealt it.
NERD featuring Kanyeezy, Lupe, and Clipse - Everybody Nose Remix
Whats that about..like, who would even think of that? They took an arcade game that somebody else made and danced in front of a green screen...at a bowling alley...and didn't even put the song on the version of the new NERD album I downloaded from Demonoid. They stole a gang sign from a geeky sci-fi franchise and laid out a cheesey pick-up line I used before. They hijacked somebody else's last name...wore the freshest clothes designed by somebody else an I swear I heard that beat somewhere else before. Plus add +, they didn't even make it in high-def. Oh how original..its a remix...wow. And all they did was made me watch it 8 times, hate on them and post it on my blog. You don't even know! They should have never gave those Nerds money! This is nice.
so..and..what, I like to make my words italian...for emphasis. But I don't like Italian dressing because I don't toss no salad.
Whats that about..like, who would even think of that? They took an arcade game that somebody else made and danced in front of a green screen...at a bowling alley...and didn't even put the song on the version of the new NERD album I downloaded from Demonoid. They stole a gang sign from a geeky sci-fi franchise and laid out a cheesey pick-up line I used before. They hijacked somebody else's last name...wore the freshest clothes designed by somebody else an I swear I heard that beat somewhere else before. Plus add +, they didn't even make it in high-def. Oh how original..its a remix...wow. And all they did was made me watch it 8 times, hate on them and post it on my blog. You don't even know! They should have never gave those Nerds money! This is nice.
so..and..what, I like to make my words italian...for emphasis. But I don't like Italian dressing because I don't toss no salad.
The Only Way I Could Beat Them Was To Punch Them In the Face As Hard As I Could
Konichiwa Bitches! Did you know I spoke French? Now you do. Did you know if you have a milkshake, and I have a milkshake, and I have a straw, and my straw reaches across the room, and starts to drink your milkshake. I...drink...your...milkshake! I drink it up! And I don't even like milkshakes. That's from my 7th favorite film eva, There Will Be Blood.
Step Brothers
This was the funniest clip I could find online, but the funniest was when Brennan literally put his sack on Dale's drums. Considering its from the same family who made this shit, it was probably Will Ferrel's real scrotum we saw. Other than that the movie was nothing special. I kinda got tired of half-heartedly giggling every 2 seconds. Sometimes the guys try too hard (or not) for a cheap laugh than to give us smart comedy. F it...who am I though. My stand-up consists of a shitty Rodney Dangerfield impersonation of 'eh, no respect' and Curb Your Enthusiasm material. Even better (or worse) movie quotes purposefully done with little to no resemblance to the original. You can say my stand-up career is on par with Dane Cook.
when I bought this pair of shoes, I thought how it would look up your ass the next time you spoke to me. survey sez...go to their ace site
Now that its back to school time for many, I reflect on my greatest achievement...dropping out and owing $13,000. What's the big deal??? Its called pissing in the wind, but cutting off in mid-stream. Do it one day soon or you will end up like these douchers...
My new Onitsuka Tigers
when I bought this pair of shoes, I thought how it would look up your ass the next time you spoke to me. survey sez...go to their ace siteNow that its back to school time for many, I reflect on my greatest achievement...dropping out and owing $13,000. What's the big deal??? Its called pissing in the wind, but cutting off in mid-stream. Do it one day soon or you will end up like these douchers...
what are you gonna do with it?
Bow down to Burberry Prorsum Spring 2009 Men's Collection. Stay out of my effing closet Burberry designer Christopher Bailey, and go back to project runway...psyche. I'm all over his balls the straightest way possible. I can see myself in all of that..but noo, I've already signed an endorsement deal with Old Navy. I should try to get out of that contract soon. One thing about fashion that I, a true fashionisto, have been stubbornly avoiding are sunglasses. Yeah, I could just clip them onto my shoulder strap or between one of my shirt buttons, but that's going overboard on the posing I already commence in, don't you think?
Sam Sparro is the new Black & Gold.
Santogold is the new Way.
if....
Sam Sparro is the new Black & Gold.
...then..
Santogold is the new Way.
The Pretty Fucking Aceness
seeing the second installment of the modern day Cheech and Chong was pretty effing ace. Harold & Kumar Escape From Guantanamo Bay was a lot funnier than I thought it would be but did not thwart their debut; the one that transformed me into a toker-poser. probably you should see it before it all gets old and lame as it inevitably will, such as this post already has.
where do I go from here? the bag is working out well but I thinks its too big. I am what you can call a small guy...only in stature not status and in many areas, namely the arse, the bag is wider than me, so it looks like I'm carrying a huge canvas painting around...even better this long ass sentence. grammar today is not my priority bitchez. I'm going to buy another this week.
I bought two books weeks ago at the local gay hub, Barnes & Noble and so far I have only read the dedications...(you know the part at the beginning of books where it says 'for...'. I always find it interesting. what I also find interesting is 'what if my backspace button didn't work?' that'd be fucked up). my favorite author Malcolm Gladwell, whose quotes of praise are on the cover on each of the books, has a blog that I need to add to my list. I discovered the trick to writing books...all is necessary would be to quote a ton of sources and use studies and statistical data to back up your opinion, no matter what it is. you are actually 'writing' about 19% of the 462 page book and thats just the bibliography in MLA format. source: yo momma. booyah! whateva, back to the books that did NOT come out of the self-help section although the titles could lead you to that conclusion. if its self-help, why are you reading someone else's advice? you wanker.
Stumbling on Happiness by Daniel Gilbert is 'for Oli, under the apple tree'. thats all I have. its supposed to be like Blink, but instead of conscious decision making, its about what make you happy I think.
Better by Atul Gawande is for the cliche 'parents and sister' if you have parents and/or a sister. its supposed to be like Blink, but from a surgeon's perspective. conscious decision making while performing surgery. thats some seriously risky shiznit.
Against the grain I went and purchased a bag for all of my accoutrements despite the naysayers and cynics. I elected a Victorinox Westminster from Mori's @ Phipps Plaza. Victorinox's logo seemed quite familiar and after some investigation I discovered that it was of the Swiss Army Brand, of Swiss Army knife and timepiece fame. This further advanced the masculinity of the messenger and, if I cared, it would be easier to fend off immature, unfashionable, behind-the-times comments of those not to be mentioned. The Westminster Messenger is large enough to carry:
- this Toshiba Satellite, optional
- my communication duo I now christen Kick&Brick
- still waiting on my new/ refurbished Zune to arrive
- lip balm
- Orbitz
- 2 keys,
- and secondary identification
voila!
Ambling through Phipps I became a self described Fashionisto. (F the Urban Dictionary's definition, from which I will begin a Word of the Day section) I didn't make any other purchases but I did create my own catalogue of items I must have, check for me when the temperature gets a little warmer.
The Drop Artist
I've jokingly danced around the idea of carrying around a man bag (man purse, murse, what have you) but after last week I'm taking the notion into serious consideration. Even to the point of shopping around online at Kenneth Cole and Purseuing. This sleek list at Kineda really has me pumped up and ready to buy, like right now. My everyday necessities are:
- a bulky cellular issued from work
- my Sidekick III
- the 80gb Zune
- a pack of Orbitz
- lip balm
- optional beverage
- keys, and
- wallet
Can you imagine carrying all of that in my pockets? My pants are too tight to begin with (according to my mother) and I can do without anymore bulges if you know what I mean. I have become somewhat of a drop artist as of late, dropping and scarring the Sidekick and dropping and killing the Zune. Thats some expensive shit in my book and I just can't take the risk anymore. Luckily I will be able to get a new Zune on Microsoft's dime but I have in the past had to replace my sidekick twice from drops. I have even dropped my notebook...I probably shouldn't stand up while it is in my lap. Rather than clipping everything to a utility belt a la Batman, carrying a bag would be a better look.
this is the style I'm looking for. I'm sure I can find it somewhere at Phipps Plaza
With the possible addition of this new fashion item, I will be able to carry a little more such as:
- sunglasses
- chargers
- notebook (maybe)
- pens
- planner
- ear buds
- usb cable
- camera
- blow (joking)
- bottle opener
- Arrested Development dvd's
- and toothbrush for those unexpected night-overs
Contrary to many beliefs, I do not and will not carry around moisturizer. Along with white shoes this spring and summer, my fashion style will be very indie-progressive.
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