The Fuckin' Dork is Back


Ask me what I did this week at work..go ahead. Not shit! The slackatiousness at work is returning, almost to the heights of the successful months of 0.0 productivity back in Atlanta. I remember those days. At least back then I would only be present for 5 to 6 hours a day. Here in Indy, I'm here most days the whole 8-9 hours but not much gets done. Doesn’t help the situation now that I've been moved into an office where the hallway is barren of foot traffic. I just turn on the stern, pop a Rockstar and down some trail mix and earn my salary. Funny though, my counterpart has the worst luck. In meetings I receive accolades, atta-boys and pats on the back, he on the other hand and probably deservedly so, gets shit for everything he does. This my friends is summarily how I get by. Maybe its career destiny or fate, I don’t do shit but I am the shit. Jealousy will surely follow but if you don’t have haters you aren’t doing something right…right?

So if I haven’t been working, what have I been doing? I went back home to Atlanta over the Independence weekend. Rented a car and drove. I’m all for road trips, in fact I’ll be embarking on one in a few weeks, but this was special. If I/we had planned the Atlanta trip a little better things would have turned out better, but as it was we drove from Indy to Nashville which wasn’t so bad. But at that point I made the decision to stop by and see my brother in South Carolina. We made the hard left and headed through the dreadful ascents, descents and curves of the Appalachian hill. I dare call them mountains after mytrip to California and I;m not talking about boobies…although I could be. Pardon the tangent but these b(r)easts on the west coast are something to be admired. We’re driving to the airport after a week of what was supposed to be some type of training but ended up to be some type of tomfoolery with Canadians and their Caesars. More tangential ramblings…a Caesar is twist on the American Bloody Mary. Its Clamato juice, which is puree of clam juice and tomato juice, and Vodka…crazy Canadadians If it wasn’t for the fact that vodka was in it, I wouldn’t have had 4 glasses of it or whatever. Back to driving to the airport..looking down the street we comment about how much smog there was because the horizon was grayish/brown. After a few minutes one of the flaming passengers looked up and said holy shit, that’s a mountain. Sure enough, the mountain eclipsed the entire horizon, the only way to tell was to tilt your head back to see the break between the sky and the top of the thing. I thought it was amazing. We entered the airport at 11am and had a few beers…so what?

Back to Independence weekend, after we made it through Eastern Tennessee the trip wasn’t so bad. I did however develop a touch of road rage and on the way back to Indy it showed itself. We had a lot of fun in Atlanta for the 1 day we were there. Flying would have been the best option now that I look back on it…oh and there is the fact that I was pretty much raped by the rental car place. The fee pretty much doubled by the time I turned in the Accord. When I picked up the car the agent started selling all of these additional features and upgraded me. I was still pretty much sleeping so I agreed to whatever he said. Flying would have been a lot more comfortable and ultimately cheaper.

The next road trip is centered around a Yankees and Red Sox game in a few weeks. We’re starting out driving to Pittsburgh and staying for the night. There we will see the Incline or whatever my counterpart said was there. Then on to either Baltimore or DC, we are still up in the air on that one. We’ve both been to DC a wile ago and some dude at work says Baltimore is a nice place to visit. After watching The Wire, I’m not so sure. After Baltimore/DC we're off to the feature stop of New York City. We'll be there for three days, wrapping it up with a Yankees game mentioned above. If we aren't tapped out by then and have some extra coin left, the plan is to visit Niagara Falls. We're staying on the State side because neither of us has a passport...and I'm done with Canadadians for quite a while. Bomb-ass road-trip...maybe or whatever.

The Things I'm Worst at in the World

Completing a thought. Everyday of every night is this disassembly and reassembly of an ensemble of thoughts. Through all of the idiotic mind exercises I find myself thirsty for water, or alcohol...perhaps both. Then I stagger the the restroom, or into a more incredulous non-ground-breaking notion, threatening to provoke some form of intelligence to no avail. In one hemisphere of the brain and out the other, why bother? Letting go of the monkey bars because you know whats on the other side...a few steps and a slide and you're right back down. My playground will have an escalator...

The Stars Burning Holes Right Through the Dark

The All Time Low Times The All Time High of All Time Equals Good Times


Yeah, I've been fighting with an Excel formula all week long and I just gave up. Sort of like I gave up on this blog. Like I dumped it right, like a girlfriend...but then you're right back at her doorstep even though you know you shouldn't be but you're there anyway. Kinda like I shouldn't be posting a new blog. =countif(this:blog, "lame")+(counta(Todd:A, "dork")). I don't know...I have an idea... but I don't know know.

The Skin & The Sauce