indie | progressive | life

The Fuckin' Dork is...

2009-07-17T12:52:00.005-05:00

The Fuckin' Dork is Back

Ask me what I did this week at work..go ahead. Not shit! The slackatiousness at work is returning, almost to the heights of the successful months of 0.0 productivity back in Atlanta. I remember those days. At least back then I would only be present for 5 to 6 hours a day. Here in Indy, I'm here most days the whole 8-9 hours but not much gets done. Doesn’t help the situation now that I've been moved into an office where the hallway is barren of foot traffic. I just turn on the stern, pop a Rockstar and down some trail mix and earn my salary. Funny though, my counterpart has the worst luck. In meetings I receive accolades, atta-boys and pats on the back, he on the other hand and probably deservedly so, gets shit for everything he does. This my friends is summarily how I get by. Maybe its career destiny or fate, I don’t do shit but I am the shit. Jealousy will surely follow but if you don’t have haters you aren’t doing something right…right?

So if I haven’t been working, what have I been doing? I went back home to Atlanta over the Independence weekend. Rented a car and drove. I’m all for road trips, in fact I’ll be embarking on one in a few weeks, but this was special. If I/we had planned the Atlanta trip a little better things would have turned out better, but as it was we drove from Indy to Nashville which wasn’t so bad. But at that point I made the decision to stop by and see my brother in South Carolina. We made the hard left and headed through the dreadful ascents, descents and curves of the Appalachian hill. I dare call them mountains after mytrip to California and I;m not talking about boobies…although I could be. Pardon the tangent but these b(r)easts on the west coast are something to be admired. We’re driving to the airport after a week of what was supposed to be some type of training but ended up to be some type of tomfoolery with Canadians and their Caesars. More tangential ramblings…a Caesar is twist on the American Bloody Mary. Its Clamato juice, which is puree of clam juice and tomato juice, and Vodka…crazy Canadadians If it wasn’t for the fact that vodka was in it, I wouldn’t have had 4 glasses of it or whatever. Back to driving to the airport..looking down the street we comment about how much smog there was because the horizon was grayish/brown. After a few minutes one of the flaming passengers looked up and said holy shit, that’s a mountain. Sure enough, the mountain eclipsed the entire horizon, the only way to tell was to tilt your head back to see the break between the sky and the top of the thing. I thought it was amazing. We entered the airport at 11am and had a few beers…so what?

Back to Independence weekend, after we made it through Eastern Tennessee the trip wasn’t so bad. I did however develop a touch of road rage and on the way back to Indy it showed itself. We had a lot of fun in Atlanta for the 1 day we were there. Flying would have been the best option now that I look back on it…oh and there is the fact that I was pretty much raped by the rental car place. The fee pretty much doubled by the time I turned in the Accord. When I picked up the car the agent started selling all of these additional features and upgraded me. I was still pretty much sleeping so I agreed to whatever he said. Flying would have been a lot more comfortable and ultimately cheaper.

The next road trip is centered around a Yankees and Red Sox game in a few weeks. We’re starting out driving to Pittsburgh and staying for the night. There we will see the Incline or whatever my counterpart said was there. Then on to either Baltimore or DC, we are still up in the air on that one. We’ve both been to DC a wile ago and some dude at work says Baltimore is a nice place to visit. After watching The Wire, I’m not so sure. After Baltimore/DC we're off to the feature stop of New York City. We'll be there for three days, wrapping it up with a Yankees game mentioned above. If we aren't tapped out by then and have some extra coin left, the plan is to visit Niagara Falls. We're staying on the State side because neither of us has a passport...and I'm done with Canadadians for quite a while. Bomb-ass road-trip...maybe or whatever.

The Things I'm...

2009-04-29T15:35:00.005-05:00

The Things I'm Worst at in the World

Completing a thought. Everyday of every night is this disassembly and reassembly of an ensemble of thoughts. Through all of the idiotic mind exercises I find myself thirsty for water, or alcohol...perhaps both. Then I stagger the the restroom, or into a more incredulous non-ground-breaking notion, threatening to provoke some form of intelligence to no avail. In one hemisphere of the brain and out the other, why bother? Letting go of the monkey bars because you know whats on the other side...a few steps and a slide and you're right back down. My playground will have an escalator...

The Stars Burning...

2009-02-01T21:01:00.011-05:00

The Stars Burning Holes Right Through the Dark

I don't know if I'll ever get a chance to overplay Sleepyhead by Passion Pit..ever

love it? its so sick. most of the album Chunk of Change is too.

I don't have anything to say. Follow me on twitter though.

Get lost

The All Time Low...

2009-01-30T20:06:00.012-05:00

The All Time Low Times The All Time High of All Time Equals Good Times

Yeah, I've been fighting with an Excel formula all week long and I just gave up. Sort of like I gave up on this blog. Like I dumped it right, like a girlfriend...but then you're right back at her doorstep even though you know you shouldn't be but you're there anyway. Kinda like I shouldn't be posting a new blog. =countif(this:blog, "lame")+(counta(Todd:A, "dork")). I don't know...I have an idea... but I don't know know.

Check it, Respeck it

Late of the Pier is probably not on my Zune's most played list but it should be. Broken is the shitake without the ake. Listen to it, B!

Whatever though, a couple of weeks ago in Indianapolis, Indiana (where I live at now, duh) the temperature looked like my overdrawn bank account...and then this week the snow was piled up to where I couldn't have made it to that girlfriend's doorstep I mentioned earlier...hypothetically. Oy vey, I've never been in weather like this but I'm holding up...beginner's luck.

I've seen thousands of movies this year already and the absolute worst was the one where that guy who played Jesus in Passion of the Christ, James Caviezel, crash lands on earth back in the day (Vikings) and fights some alien dragon amongst other things. Awful...if you are into that Sci-Fi channel BS you would probably rub one out to this flick but "it no bueno for me"...(that's what she said). I don't even want to mention the name of the movie ~~Outlander~~ or link to it's crappy site. It was the worst career move I've seen since I moved to Indiana, Aye Dios Mio!...just kidding.

Speaking of Spanish, one of the best I've seen so far was ~~Madea Goes to Jail~~ the subtitled Che with Benicio del Toro. Its self explanatory. I only saw the first part, but at the Midtown Art Cinema they are showing both installments next weekend. I wont be there, if i was there I'd be there but since I'm not I wont...I'll probably just dl it from Demonoid.

I cant find this one...anywhere

The Skin & The Sauce

2008-09-04T20:20:00.003-05:00

The Skin & The Sauce

1st..or 2nd Favrotie Jake & Amir

Adiolos Homos! ['hello my good friends' in English, or Italian...both] I speaka severala differencha logos. Well, this morning I stuck my arm out of the window and gave the bird...probably the most productive thing I've done all day..sans dropping deuces. eww, disgussing right? Nope. Its baked goods. Do you know of anyone who says 'whooped cream' instead of 'whipped cream'?

I remember when today I dropped an entire packet of non-dairy creamer into my 3st cup of joe..probably the smartest thing I've done all day. I remember when a co-worker asked about my tattoo of a cock&balls on my shoulder. I told him that wasn't a tattoo. Probably the worst denial eva...so.

lets get the fuck outta here

The Friends That...

2008-09-02T15:03:00.012-05:00

The Friends That We've Become, The Fault Lines We Have Crossed

This is the 3rd Sidekick-ass I've lost or broken in two years. I'm sensing a pattern here..of habitual inconsistencies. If my Sidekick isn't going to be there for me I don't see the reason in pursuing the relationship any further. But this personification of a hand held device leads me to ponder the humaness of the notion of broken or lost relationships. I say fuck ~~them~~ it before ~~they~~ it fucks me, can I get an amen! I'll just get something bettera than. I remember when an ex-girlfriend was on psychiatric meds...and some other shit...

Minus The Bear - Pachuca Sunrise bitchez

Minus The Bear is not just some sappy indie crew. Best band playing in Atlanta on November 1st and this lush missed the opportunity to catch them last year and I'm pretty damn sure I won't this year. But until then...

shootin shots like..with a gun

The Drink Glass and Rolling Papers

2008-09-01T19:08:00.004-05:00

The Drink Glass and Rolling Papers

Hi Haters! Summer is just about over and its about time that I rape my budget and throw all my coin away at the local H&M for my 2008 ~~So Sick~~ Fall/Winter Collection. So. Or maybes I could ~~follow my heart~~ ~~and skip a student loan payment...or find a cougar willing to be my sugar momma~~ splurge and head over to Phipps and cop one or all of the following:

I remember when my college roommate would prepare Maruchan Ramen Noodles in the sink...the same sink I used to wash my hands when I finished..playing..rock|paper|scissors..whateva. He would just turn on the hot water, pull up the stopper, and toss in the cube of noodles. Sick. That's how this blog tastes right about nizzow! If it weren't for Chin Up Chin Up balancing my equilibrium I'd probably bulemiate on my keyboard right now.

Speaking of...this weekend I did quite a few chin ups [shots] of various alcoholic beverages and consumed numerous lagers and ales with no hitch...and nothing to tow. I did, however, fulfilled my dream of doing a stand-up comedy bit which featured more theatrics than the Biejing Opening Ceremony. Though, at some points it felt as if I was eugoogoolizing someone. I was wet [wasted] but dry [not-funny].

So...I've got somewhere else to be

The Nights Are Like...

2008-08-30T20:44:00.007-05:00

The Nights Are Like Lucid Dreams, Or My Dreams Are Like Lucid Nights...Or Whatever

Maybes 'whateva' is almost expired in my opinion. From now on I will use 'what-have-you'.

this is how my evenings transpire..

Muscles Remixed by Jokers of the Scene

yup, and that is without absinthe

Right? Right? Very nice. I like it. You don't like it? Kiss my ass if you don't like it. I found the video on this blog, just thought I'd give them some credit or what-have-you..I've changed my minds. whateva

..lets toast a few

The Cool Nerds

2008-08-08T14:34:00.005-05:00

The Cool Nerds: Semi-Autobiographical, sans Cool

Ixnay on the erdNay and orkDay. I know you are but what am I? Whoever smelt it dealt it.

NERD featuring Kanyeezy, Lupe, and Clipse - Everybody Nose Remix

Whats that about..like, who would even think of that? They took an arcade game that somebody else made and danced in front of a green screen...at a bowling alley...and didn't even put the song on the version of the new NERD album I downloaded from Demonoid. They stole a gang sign from a geeky sci-fi franchise and laid out a cheesey pick-up line I used before. They hijacked somebody else's last name...wore the freshest clothes designed by somebody else an I swear I heard that beat somewhere else before. Plus add +, they didn't even make it in high-def. Oh how original..its a remix...wow. And all they did was made me watch it 8 times, hate on them and post it on my blog. You don't even know! They should have never gave those Nerds money! This is nice.

so..and..what, I like to make my words italian...for emphasis. But I don't like Italian dressing because I don't toss no salad.

The Only Way...

2008-07-29T19:42:00.006-05:00

The Only Way I Could Beat Them Was To Punch Them In the Face As Hard As I Could

Konichiwa Bitches! Did you know I spoke French? Now you do. Did you know if you have a milkshake, and I have a milkshake, and I have a straw, and my straw reaches across the room, and starts to drink your milkshake. I...drink...your...milkshake! I drink it up! And I don't even like milkshakes. That's from my 7th favorite film eva, There Will Be Blood.

Step Brothers

This was the funniest clip I could find online, but the funniest was when Brennan literally put his sack on Dale's drums. Considering its from the same family who made this shit, it was probably Will Ferrel's real scrotum we saw. Other than that the movie was nothing special. I kinda got tired of half-heartedly giggling every 2 seconds. Sometimes the guys try too hard (or not) for a cheap laugh than to give us smart comedy. F it...who am I though. My stand-up consists of a shitty Rodney Dangerfield impersonation of 'eh, no respect' and Curb Your Enthusiasm material. Even better (or worse) movie quotes purposefully done with little to no resemblance to the original. You can say my stand-up career is on par with Dane Cook.

My new Onitsuka Tigers

when I bought this pair of shoes, I thought how it would look up your ass the next time you spoke to me. survey sez...go to their ace site

Now that its back to school time for many, I reflect on my greatest achievement...dropping out and owing $13,000. What's the big deal??? Its called pissing in the wind, but cutting off in mid-stream. Do it one day soon or you will end up like these douchers...

The Swimming Pool After Dark

2008-07-02T22:08:00.009-05:00

The Swimming Pool After Dark

what are you gonna do with it?

Bow down to Burberry Prorsum Spring 2009 Men's Collection. Stay out of my effing closet Burberry designer Christopher Bailey, and go back to project runway...psyche. I'm all over his balls the straightest way possible. I can see myself in all of that..but noo, I've already signed an endorsement deal with Old Navy. I should try to get out of that contract soon. One thing about fashion that I, a true fashionisto, have been stubbornly avoiding are sunglasses. Yeah, I could just clip them onto my shoulder strap or between one of my shirt buttons, but that's going overboard on the posing I already commence in, don't you think?

if....

Sam Sparro is the new Black & Gold.

...then..

Santogold is the new Way.

The Calm Before...

2008-07-01T20:12:00.006-05:00

The Calm Before The Fuck

I don't know where I fit in this venn diagram...

This blog has become a trailer park, but not the type you are from. I'm ~~talking~~ typing about full of video clips from the internets and upcoming movies...not what I wanted it to be. Lets get back to the basics...more douchery! Yayyy!!!!!!1

Yeah..so..and..getting out of the hospital after 2.75 days isn't all its cracked up to be. Sure, there is the fact you're not receiving intravenous therapy but who is to say I don't want that? It is so convenient. Sure there is the fact some chick does not check on you every 4 hours, but who is to say I don't want that? I do, but she will have a script to follow that does not include the word why, and leaves when I say 'be gone, B.' I'm going back!

If you can read (which I highly doubt. I'm all-in that you can't. does that mean I win? maybe I'm good at gambling. king me) If you can read, as you can see, above I stated, remember when I said I was in the hospital for almost 3 days? Let me clarify that for you...its true! Let me give you a little insight...I'm out! I don't like my business in the streets. When I returned to work the GM jumped down my balls like he was glad to see me, so I lied to his pasty face that 'I'm glad to be back' although I was wanting more IV love. I took that lying tone throughout the remainder of the day..the day that consisted of the same monotonous-corporate wannabe-world class-passive aggressive-small talk I hate. I want to tell the all to 'calm the fuck down.'

I really like Fiction Plane, every song. This one is an old one, but its still good

The Security of Your Shit

2008-06-04T18:37:00.008-05:00

The Security of Your Shit

Burn After Reading is the upcoming flick from Joel and Ethan. Following up NCFOM might be pretty tough if the Coen Brothers wanted to make another NCFOM, but thank-godly Burn After Reading is not another NCFOM. The descriptionist kinda packages the film into the 'dark-comedy' genre cliche but what from the Coen's is not dark? Even their slot in Paris, je T'aime was somewhat on the dark side. Let's not review a 2 minute trailer though, I'm ultimately going to see it.

The above could have easily been 1 or 2 sentences long with just 1 link inlcuded, but the awkwardness is soothing to me. Out of the thousands (2,346) of humans I come in contact with...thousands (2,346) think I'm weird. Thats almost 100%.

The Stupid Computer Voice

2008-05-28T19:49:00.002-05:00

The Stupid Computer Voice

This is one of my favorite videos from JakeandAmir.

lolollol

The Distracting Backfist

2008-05-24T11:47:00.006-05:00

The Distracting Backfist

Here is a trailer for The Foot Fist Way, supposedly opening May 30th.

looks funny enough, check it out

The Convenience of Being....

2008-05-14T21:17:00.001-05:00

The Convenience of Being a Dick

It is becoming a lot easier and more enjoyable to be a dick as opposed to the usual pleasant, appeasing pushover I've ripened in to. Albeit, the transition is a process and I have not erected myself fully...but I'll say I'm a chubby.

The gifts and the curses of taking a long, curvy country road to and from work are on total opposite ends of the visual spectrum. Firstly I enjoy the absence of poor drivers fashionably changing lanes for no reason whatsoever. The big pay off though would be my not smart but brilliant sun rising and eye-witnessing it's rays explode through the tall, immaculate wooden statues you may call trees. (I'm going to watch Sunshine tonight) Seeing the real babbling brooks (not the ones Dane Cook mentioned) shallowly flowing over smooth rocks. Most of all, though, is seeing my first deer on the side of the road...alive. It was amazing. Days later I see another deer on the side of the road...dead. It was so sick...the bad sick. Not the 'Iron Man was so sick' sick. It took 3 days for the blood to wash away.

And then there is the ride back home...seeing shirtless wankers on their Nascar Edition zero-turn riding mowers. The hair on their shoulders are singed and their skin is fiery red. Why? Your lawn is still hideous. Ruins my 30 minute ride home.

This project is so sick...the good one. Check it out, very ace and interesting or whateva:

Its called Experiential Typography | One Day Poem | Jiyeon Song

that is why I love my sun.

The Fizzy Lifting Drink

2008-05-05T16:36:00.011-05:00

The Fizzy Lifting Drink

I was browsing through digg and came across an article from physorg titled Who Should MDs Let Die in a Pandemic?

Doctors know some patients needing lifesaving care won't get it in a flu pandemic or other disaster. The gut-wrenching dilemma will be deciding who to let die...

To prepare, hospitals should designate a triage team with the Godlike task of deciding who will and who won't get lifesaving care, the task force wrote. Those out of luck are the people at high risk of death and a slim chance of long-term survival. But the recommendations get much more specific, and include:

-People older than 85.
-Those with severe trauma, which could include critical injuries from car crashes and shootings.
-Severely burned patients older than 60.
-Those with severe mental impairment, which could include advanced Alzheimer's disease.
-Those with a severe chronic disease, such as advanced heart failure, lung disease or poorly controlled diabetes.

Jeezy, thats tough. I'd figure they'd try and save everyone. Can you imagine if you or a loved one fell into one of those categories during a catastrophic outbreak? I think of the scenes that are in all of the Hollywood films such as the sucky I Am Legend where there are pseudo-riots (on a tangent, the best riot scene is in Children of Men) that the military is attempting to pseudo-quelch. Then I think of where were the lawyers of the ACLU. What about your pseudo-healthcare plan? I think of who makes the final decision? And then I think of WIlly Wonka's Fizzy Lifting Drink...(WIlder was a much better Wonka than Depp.)

You Lose...Good Day Sir!

The Pretty Effing Aceness

2008-04-27T20:58:00.005-05:00

The Pretty Fucking Aceness

seeing the second installment of the modern day Cheech and Chong was pretty effing ace. Harold & Kumar Escape From Guantanamo Bay was a lot funnier than I thought it would be but did not thwart their debut; the one that transformed me into a toker-poser. probably you should see it before it all gets old and lame as it inevitably will, such as this post already has.

where do I go from here? the bag is working out well but I thinks its too big. I am what you can call a small guy...only in stature not status and in many areas, namely the arse, the bag is wider than me, so it looks like I'm carrying a huge canvas painting around...even better this long ass sentence. grammar today is not my priority bitchez. I'm going to buy another this week.

I bought two books weeks ago at the local gay hub, Barnes & Noble and so far I have only read the dedications...(you know the part at the beginning of books where it says 'for...'. I always find it interesting. what I also find interesting is 'what if my backspace button didn't work?' that'd be fucked up). my favorite author Malcolm Gladwell, whose quotes of praise are on the cover on each of the books, has a blog that I need to add to my list. I discovered the trick to writing books...all is necessary would be to quote a ton of sources and use studies and statistical data to back up your opinion, no matter what it is. you are actually 'writing' about 19% of the 462 page book and thats just the bibliography in MLA format. source: yo momma. booyah! whateva, back to the books that did NOT come out of the self-help section although the titles could lead you to that conclusion. if its self-help, why are you reading someone else's advice? you wanker.

Stumbling on Happiness by Daniel Gilbert is 'for Oli, under the apple tree'. thats all I have. its supposed to be like Blink, but instead of conscious decision making, its about what make you happy I think.

Better by Atul Gawande is for the cliche 'parents and sister' if you have parents and/or a sister. its supposed to be like Blink, but from a surgeon's perspective. conscious decision making while performing surgery. thats some seriously risky shiznit.

The Maverick Renegade

2008-03-31T21:00:00.006-05:00

The Maverick Renegade

Against the grain I went and purchased a bag for all of my accoutrements despite the naysayers and cynics. I elected a Victorinox Westminster from Mori's @ Phipps Plaza. Victorinox's logo seemed quite familiar and after some investigation I discovered that it was of the Swiss Army Brand, of Swiss Army knife and timepiece fame. This further advanced the masculinity of the messenger and, if I cared, it would be easier to fend off immature, unfashionable, behind-the-times comments of those not to be mentioned. The Westminster Messenger is large enough to carry:

this Toshiba Satellite, optional
my communication duo I now christen Kick&Brick
still waiting on my new/ refurbished Zune to arrive
lip balm
Orbitz
2 keys,
and secondary identification

voila!

Ambling through Phipps I became a self described Fashionisto. (F the Urban Dictionary's definition, from which I will begin a Word of the Day section) I didn't make any other purchases but I did create my own catalogue of items I must have, check for me when the temperature gets a little warmer.

The Drop Artist

2008-03-24T19:42:00.013-05:00

The Drop Artist

I've jokingly danced around the idea of carrying around a man bag (man purse, murse, what have you) but after last week I'm taking the notion into serious consideration. Even to the point of shopping around online at Kenneth Cole and Purseuing. This sleek list at Kineda really has me pumped up and ready to buy, like right now. My everyday necessities are:

a bulky cellular issued from work
my Sidekick III
the 80gb Zune
a pack of Orbitz
lip balm
optional beverage
keys, and
wallet

Can you imagine carrying all of that in my pockets? My pants are too tight to begin with (according to my mother) and I can do without anymore bulges if you know what I mean. I have become somewhat of a drop artist as of late, dropping and scarring the Sidekick and dropping and killing the Zune. Thats some expensive shit in my book and I just can't take the risk anymore. Luckily I will be able to get a new Zune on Microsoft's dime but I have in the past had to replace my sidekick twice from drops. I have even dropped my notebook...I probably shouldn't stand up while it is in my lap. Rather than clipping everything to a utility belt a la Batman, carrying a bag would be a better look.

this is the style I'm looking for. I'm sure I can find it somewhere at Phipps Plaza

With the possible addition of this new fashion item, I will be able to carry a little more such as:

sunglasses
chargers
notebook (maybe)
pens
planner
ear buds
usb cable
camera
blow (joking)
bottle opener
Arrested Development dvd's
and toothbrush for those unexpected night-overs

Contrary to many beliefs, I do not and will not carry around moisturizer. Along with white shoes this spring and summer, my fashion style will be very indie-progressive.

The Continuous Life Moving Through Light

2008-02-17T21:31:00.002-05:00

The Continuous Life Moving Through Light

A quick preface, in which one should receive a timely update in the matter of my life...still a dork.

Shit, this writing strike that I have been piggybacking is now over. When readers asked why I haven't updated this blog, my reply was that I was expressing solidarity with the WGA. My debunked excuse did not travel far as it is obvious that I and the members of the WGA operate in seemingly different worlds...and then there is the fact that I do not receive compensation for this regurgitation of complete lameness from one may not ever recover. I have no protest and will just allow nature to take its ill-advised course on a poorly designed, though eco-efficient slow train to crash and burn...this is my mind.

I saw In Bruges with Colin Farell, Ralph Fiennes and Brenden Gleeson this weekend. Not 'with' them...they starred in the film which was shot 'on location'. Aren't all movies filmed 'on location' anyway? I believe what is meant is the filming is done where the actual setting of the story takes place, in this case Bruges, Belgium. Never heard of it, right? Pretty much the premise of the film. There's a lot more to it though, Colin Farell's reluctance and Ralph Fiennes' intensity are fucking hilarious and Brenden Gleeson's humaness balances them both for a largley entertaining and enjoyable veiwing at Midtown Art Cinema with old bears who reached extreme decibles with the slightest giggle. Okay, I exaggerated the latter but the movie is brilliant. If you go, make sure you pronounce In Bruge like 'broozh' so you don't look like an ass. I didn't mispronounce it, I'm just an ass...wysiwyg [what you see is what you get].

Of the actors, actresses and films nominated in next week's Oscar presentations, I'll be rooting for; Emile Hirsch for Best Actor from Into The Wild [shafted, although I did not see Daneil Day Lewis in There Will Be Blood], Javier Bardem for Best Supporting Actor from No Country For Old Men, Ellen Page for Best Actress from Juno, Juno [credit Diablo Cody for writing] for best original screenplay, and The Darjeeling Limited for Best Picture [again, shafted. I haven't seen There Will Be Blood]. Seriously, I think No Country For Old Men will win. Juno was good and all, but I'm just saying...

Normally I listen to bands that not many know exist, and then when they break through I'm so done with them. This time, Meet Me In St. Louis met their demise before I could get a good word out about them. The lead vocalist dropped out months ago and more recently the drummer threw his sticks in. I've fancied them for some time now and will onward because they still kick the shit out of my playlists.

good to be back

The Stars Are Bright Tonight, Like...

2008-01-13T21:59:00.000-05:00

The Stars Are Bright Tonight, Like Tiny Geniuses Who Keep Secrets & Promises

The exhales from the evening are like cool sighs of relief, stating refreshingly, 'I'm glad the week is complete'. A sentiment mutually shared with this ostentatious dork with an odd sense of everything. My ears are readjusting themselves, such as eyes to light, after the reverberating bass of M.I.A. [I like the way she says banana] played as well as my 10 year old sound system would allow.

[Surfacing] is another week accompanied with sleep deprivation, over-achieving, passive aggression, and selective thought. Just before the credits roll on my dreams the screen goes black, 'is it over? Don't wake up...please don't wake up.' I wake up...2 hours early. Here begins the symbiosis between Earth and I, where we share the beauty of the Solar and Lunar objects, humans, and the atrocities found in this mind, commonly referred to as Machine or Vague Machine. At what cost am I allowed to fathom this shit?

I'm glad you asked. [Surfacing] is the meaning for my dragonfly tattoo. A dragonfly's life begins underwater in larval form. Once metamorphosis is ready, the larva climbs breaks the surface and wings emerge. I'm thinking the ink on my arm should symbolize this occuring in my life to some extent. Surfacing and not looking back.That's my story...at least for now.

What's Spanish for I know you speak English?

The Planets Don't Give A Shit....

2008-01-04T22:47:00.000-05:00

The Planets Don't Give A Shit, They Have Their Own Gravity

I can dance, I just had a few $1 Guinness and the dance floor was too small. We just caught the last few songs of Shiny Toy Guns' performance and encore at Park Tavern hosted by 99X. There were a number of reasons we missed the bulk of the show (sorry Shawn) and one of the reasons was the stop at City of Ink to get some kick ass ink. Corey Davis was the cool artist who grabbed my puny left arm and etched the dragonfly just above the elbow. I know what you're thinking, dragonfly? I kind of borrowed the design from Coheed & Cambria, but its more than a band tattoo. And I'll have to get back to you with a deeper meaning. It is still formulating in the vague machine I call my brain. I shall post a picture of it after healing is complete.

There I was standing downstage right from the bar; dance floor. Remixes of Bloc Party and Killers are blaring and I'm taking it easy on them. Then, out of nowhere my 'friends' start pointing and laughing. I glance in the direction of their extended fingers and land on my gyrating hips. They don't stop, the hips don't either. I didn't give a shit. I give them a 'whatev!' and realize that I am one of the only dudes dancing. I now rely on the head-nod because they obviously weren't ready for me.

Made In The Dark from Hot Chip makes me move. I think I heard one track from them a while back and didn't think I'd be a fan, but here I am. 2008 seems to be my year to delve deep into the electronica arena, which already puts my machine into a sci-fi state. You are warned. Last post I mentioned the more donwtempo tracks from Made In The Dark, but Shake A Fist, Don't Dance, Ready For The Floor and Bendable Poseable are in heavy rotation.

I got my phalanges on Daft Punk's Alive 2007 and can't take my ears off of it. Hu-man...Ro-bot. Every track Bruce Lee kicks the shit out of my brain. I enjoy listening to it and find myself smiling much of the time like when I heard Touch It/Technologic for the first time...and the fifth consecutive time. Plug it, play it, burn it, rip it, drag it, drop it, zip, unzip it...Technologic! Face to Face/Short Circuit, Prime Time of Your Life/Brainwash are also favorites.

Sticking to the electrionica theme...I'm falling for MGMT (no, not management. I do not like those guys) and their release Oracular Spectacular. Andrew and Ben have put together something wonderfully enjoyable and catchy. Electric Feel has to be the most played track on my new 80GB Zune (thanks babe). A while back I made an investment into a pair of Shure ear buds but have since upgraded to the Bose brand which outshines in more ways than one. MGMT has to be one of my most fulfilling discoveries though.

Promise & The Monster is Billie Lindahl, a lovely (sounding at least) woman with beautiful music. Transparent Knives is very impressive and dreamy. I admire her voice, but when you admire something it normally means that you would like to have the same trait. Maybe I don't admire her voice after all, its pretty and sounds nice. I need all of the edge I can get, (right Shawn?) Thats that.

I can go on and on about the indie music I love but I surmise that my ramblings on such isn't the most interesting bit in this very un-interesting blog so I'll save some for next time.

Happy New Year,
Love Todd

The Clockwork Just Doesn't Add Up

2007-12-21T19:56:00.000-05:00

The Clockwork Just Doesn't Add Up

...dude! Its like been a month of semi-professional procrastination only a gent such as myself can successfully pull off, or put on. The illegitimate excuse I will use from my arsenal of excuses would be that I was just too busy becoming a bad ass. In my experience the nice guy that I am is bringing me a lot of shit luck and not getting me anywhere. This bad ass thing is harder to pull of as one may think. So far my resume contains:

partaking in the murder of numerous packets of Orbitz chewing gum
planning on planning to get a rebellious tattoo inked into my arm
planning the second tattoo before getting the first
waiting 3 days before Christmas to do Christmas shopping
leaving my office a mess while I'm out for vacation for the next 2 weeks
that experience with Peroni ... probably shouldn't be on this list

...hells yeah! But no...I really haven't been getting the results I hoped for but I'm keeping the faith and shall continue. Onward!

There must have been some type of equinox this past Tuesday because I was lucky enough to attend a screening of the movie Juno at the Midtown Art Cinema. I wasn't sure how big of a turn-out there would be so to ensure we got seats I skipped out of work a little early and arrived to 8th & Monroe a whole two and a half hours early. Suffice to say I was the first one there. I updated my accomplice, had half of the best chicken quesadilla ever from Whole Foods, and grabbed a Creative Loafing and waited like an eager douche bag in the parking lot. When Jeni arrived we still had an hour to spare so we toured the neighboring Trader Joe's and if she was an alcohol consumer like myself we would have hit The Independent...because their jukebox plays Bloc Party. Anyway, the movie was one of the best I've seen this year. Up there with No Country For Old Men and it totally kicked I Am Legend's sucky ass! Oh...we got Juno t-shirts too.

So yeah, all of you missed out on that and you are most likely missing out on some great music too so I'll get you into the shit. There are no words right now to describe my liking for Meet Me In St. Louis...I guess they are vagtastic! These blokes and their lyrics and the clockwork of their instrumentation pretty much need to be in everyones life. Variations On Swing is their release. They kick everything else thats in my playlist in the nuts very hard.

I'm also into the smooth sounds of Pseudosix. Well, as of late I have been driving really, really fast through the connector for some reason...and Pseudosix allows me to enjoy it even more. Normally its the faster, more beaty music that gets me going but this smooth shit does it for me. Thats not without saying that 50 Foot Wave is not too far behind, the still kill it. Screaming along to Golden Ocean and Pneuma is getting to my voice.

As far as electronic goes, minus the lazor beam sounds and all, Hot Chip's new shit, Made In The Dark gives me chills...especially the title song. We're Looking For A Lot Of Love and In The Privacy Of Our Love are my favs, slow and sweet.

With all that said, give Meet Me In St Louis a try and you will like it.

The Reasons I Hate...

2007-11-18T20:56:00.000-05:00

The Reasons I Hate Nancy Grace Are Far More Numerous Than The Reasons I Love You

I'm coughing after a certain paranoid member of my family sprayed down this Marriott unit to death with dysinfectant. I would have done the same...minus the ethanol cloud. This family member, after discovering that the windows of the room don't open, tosses a fit..."what if something happens? Then we are trapped..." These comments and actions are coupled with the rule of never sharing toothpaste because germs will be transferred and always unbuckle your seatbelt when you're pumping gas, "in case something happens". [Sarcasticly-Nodding-and-Doing-the-Sarcastic-Eye-and-Mouth-Thing] I completely understand and I love my family member. [Seriously]

[So] we are going to my Grandmother's house for Thanksgiving. This is a major family event and it most always turns into a week-long affair, as is the case this year. The drive from Atlanta to Greenville South Carolina on Friday night was the first leg of the trip. I was suprised I didn't get pulled over by Carolina's Finest as I was utilizing the techniques I picked up from those 80-90mph rendezvous with the 75/85 Connector. [will she stop with the spray!] We made it in no time because of this and I was going on my 30th sleepless hour. I survived with a Rockstar, Dr. Pepper, Giant Chewy Sweetarts and Twizzlers...cuisine of a dork on road trips. A little Radiohead and a lot of Modest Mouse were also of assistance. We crashed at my brother's for the 10 hour uneventful layover.

Morning was cold and was also the time I wished for a family of my own. I wish I invited [I did, but too late] a friend up...and wished they came. I'm not the type to look back so our 2nd leg of the trip began with reassigning travel partners. After I reluctantly lost the one-sided debate [six against one, I felt like Kucinich] my car was left behind and I ended up in the Range Rover under one condition, my music plays...early and often. It did...just early.

The often was occupied by Arrested Development. This was one of the best shows, I'm not sure why it only lasted 3 seasons. Great cast [David Cross [who is the man] Michael Cear and Will Arnett just to name a few] and great writers....just poor marketing. Not many people knew or know about it.

We make it to my hometown of Newport News, Virginia. Crossing the James River bridge is a sight. We get to City Center in Oyster Point, Virginia and I was impressed. A lot has changed. Within a couple of hours I'm involved in a conversation with an older family member. I mention how I'm ready for family, he talks about fishing, his arthritis and we dance around the subject of his son. Theodore was my cousin. He was a Marine deployed in Afghanistan. From what I understand, he was participating in an undercover assignment and because of his appearance he blended in with the villagers. Long story short he was killed in his vehicle by an explosive device.

...okay

Not to take anything away from 50 Foot Wave because I really really like them, but they sound like a more uptempo Silversun Pickups. I despise comparing bands...especially the good indie ones because they are all very different. Golden Ocean is their release and it is hideously awesome.

I've had my first experiences with Radiohead. A friend was very adamant that I give them a listen because Radiohead is the 'best band ever'. I like them...but noithing special. I don't know what it is.

AaRON [Artificial Animals Riding On Neverland] is probably what Radiohead was trying to accomplish. [I'm only kidding!] They are nothing like Radiohead...because AaRON doesn't suck. [I'm joking] Just smooth indieness. Michel Gondry is responsible for Radiohead's so called 'success'.

'Hay, que gente' is what a friend or something would often say. I never found the meaning of it, but Kings Of Convenience [Riot On Empty Street] makes me want to say it and it feels like it applies. You almost beat me to them Gina...not quite.

Small Leaks Sink Ships [Until The World Is Happy; Wake Up You Sleepyhead Sun] is like going to recess in elementary school. When they pop up in my random playlist there is just a new energy pumping through the ear buds. Dear Dictator and Truth Of Transition are perfect examples.

I'm really into The Shape Of Broad Minds [Craft Of The Lost Art] and the title of their release is the sum of everything. I stopped listening to hip-hop a while ago but these guys may bring me back into the fold.

American Gangster fucking sucked....and you know it

The Vicarious Liver...

2007-11-06T17:39:00.000-05:00

The Vicarious Liver...Liver, Like One Who Lives; Not Liver Like The Organ...

That's the best title ever! But anyway, let me fill you in on the past month or so.

First of most, someone hit my fucking car. It wasn't bad at all. The Cirrus was parked on the street and someone backed out of their driveway and smashed the rear door in. With the existing damage to the passenger side door(s), I'd say my car resembled a delicious shit samich...sandwich. To the D..to the E..to the L-I-C-I-O-U-S. I don't even like Fergie.

If you read back through the posts, you will see that I am not a virgin. . .to this type of thing happening. I have a collection (of 2) notes left on my windsheild because of damage to the Chrysler. Talk about Shit Luck.

Okay, okay, while the damages were being repaired I was given a rental. A Ford Taurus. My car will punch the Taurus in the freakin face and piss on its cloth interior, video tape it and post the whole thing on YouTube.

I have to say that I listen to the best music! My previous post I mentioned how I wanted to get lost in Bloc Party...did that. Then there are some supreme remixes of A Perfect Circle that are highly intoxicating. 3 Libras is already an awesome song, just think of it with an epic feel....I guess.

Meet Me In St. Louis is one of my favorites at the moment. Great indie music for that ass. Variations In Swing is their release that has me addicted. Nice melodic songs like I Beat Up The Bathroom,I'm Sorry and Come To New York,There Were Fewer Murders Last Year are well balanced with I've Got Knives In My Eyes and Right This Way,You Maverick Renegade. I love this band!

Mobius Band's Heaven kicks the piss out of children and leaves bottoms red....its tough coming up with adjectives other than awesome and great, but how lame can I get? Either way, A Hint Of Blood, Leave The Keys In The Door, and Tie A Tie are magical mood setting songs, and not the mood you are thinking about. More on that latera.

Who or what the fuck is This Town Need Guns? Shitty rock band that I think is cool just because they are indie....NOT. These guys make me feel as though I've learned to fly, but don't want to because just the fact that I know how to and can is better than actually doing it so I keep it a secret and not tel anybody, but then one day I fall in love (with a girl of course) and I want to show that person something very special and I want to fly away with them, but I'm not sure if it will scare the crap out of them....I'm not sure if it will even work out so if we break up they will probably out me...soi decide to keep it to myself....that's how This Town Needs Guns makes me feel. If I Sit Still Maybe I'll Get Out Of Here and Its Not True Rufus, Don't Listen To The Hat are made for dreamers.

Dreaming and Moods as I've mentioned above. A few friends are going through it and I advised them to find something they love...not me...and lean on that to get their minds off of the woes in their lives. For me, it is obviously music and movies. They clear my mind and allow me to dream, dream of where I'd want to be and what I'd want to do and who I'd want to do it to...just kidding. Lets say I wanted to become a concert promoter who put on large events kind of like Coachella or Bonnaroo every year with an amazing line up of the best indie shit, I'd call it Dorks Are The New Brad Pitts and George Clooneys and Other Really Hot Guys Like Danny From So You Think You Can Dance Indie Music Fesitval...presented by Mt. Dew. And I wanted to live in Japan and drive a Scion really fast past people stuck in traffic with The Shins playing extremely loud. At some point I'd want to make those really, awesomely, cooly dreams come true. Then I'd start planning. And before you know it, I'm not thinking about my ex-boyfriend...or they aren't thinking about their ex-boyfriends, bills, jobs and things that don't really exist because they are beautifuler than anything.

Chances by Robocop Kraus from Blunders And Mistakes is what I wake up to.

clever got me this far...then tricky got me in

The Worst Audience Participant...

2007-10-08T21:11:00.000-05:00

The Worst Audience Participant Cirque du Soleil Ever Had

Into The Wild, starring Emile Hirsch, directed by Sean Penn at MAC was my destination Sunday morning. It was a spectacular film concentrating on the life journey of Christopher McCandless. For the second consecutive weekend I was late for my matinee, but I must say I've become quite sublime with speeding through the connector. I can't seem to find Across The Universe (haven't given it an honest search) or The Darjeeling Limited. I guess the latter hasn't been released yet so it looks like next Sunday I will be seeing Michael Clayton...maybe.

I purchased Death Proof, the second half of Grindhouse. What genius. The dialogue and car chase...awesome. Its one of those movies you can revisit every now and then and continue to get a rush. Not too many knew about its release, I guess the marketing could have been a little better. I'm sure everyone will catch on and it will have a sort of cult following. Can't wait to purchase Sunshine, I hope it contains some good extras.

I have repopulated my time consuming mp3 player with amazing music. I have Alterkicks' indie-upbeat release Do Everything I Taught You. Good stuff.

Bloc Party has a few unreleased tracks from Weekend In The City. One in particular, Rhododendron, makes me want to carry around their entire discography and lose myself in it.

Lampshade has a shadowy sound that is dimly appealing to me for some reason. The lyrics are so realistic I guess. They make sense. Most of the tracks from Because Trees Can Fly are on my Sleep playlist.

One of my favorites is Last November. They pretty much take care of any emo thirst I have, but can't do it like The Early November...not to compare them or anything. Still great songs for wishful thinkers and romantics...none of which describe me. All The Gory Details....

Then there is Maserati. I've read about them a while ago but just got around to checking them out. Great music, but suprised that there were no lyrics. They are great to listen to when driving down the connector...without traffic. Aren't they from Atlanta?

When you are parked on the connector however, The Robocop Kraus' Chances is what I suggest. Good moods all around.

it should be my name on their lips

The One Who Told you So

2007-10-02T20:30:00.000-05:00

The One Who Told You So

There were more shit-storms at work the past two weeks. I was not completely immune to this round of disturbances but succesfully avoided any collateral damage. Last week there was a major corporate visit...I'm talking el vice-presidente, very major. He was not completely satisfied and scheduled regular visits for the remainder of last and this week.

Secondarily, there was an incident. I was not involved nor witnessed this occurence, but somehow interest was pointed towards me. The initial meeting was not nice...at all. After a vague and awkward introduction, the sit-down began. I was not prepared, stumbled over my words, and because I had no idea what was going on I withheld information. At the conclusion I exited, sighed, and called a co-worker to give a heads-up of the events.

The exchange was a hilarious and included the most vulgar double entendres. As only Pesci and an idoit such as myself can pull off, I mentioned how they were breaking my balls and how my ass was chewed out without any explainations. After a pause, realization, and laughter I cleared things up a bit and received the assurance that they were in my corner... only to be told they'd have to call me back because they were on their way to an orgy. Funny guy.

That eased the tension a bit. After cancelling all of my classes this week there was another improvised two hour meeting with the same party. After being briefed, I was well-informed and prepared. For the first time I knew what was going on and became fully cooperative and at times, threw a few managers under the bus. The day ended with my participation in a very interesting and productive root cause analysis to minimize the posibility of this incident from occuring again.

Sunday morning I went to the MAC (Midtown Art Cinema) and was engulfed in a documentary about Donald Crowhurst called Deep Water. Look him up on Wikipedia and you would want to see the film.
I hear a lot of buzz about The Valley of Ellah so I'm going to check it out next Sunday.

I'm sure I've mentioned Moving Mountains shattering faces, Pela dislocating mandibles, and Shapes & Sizes extracting fingernails one by one in previous posts but I thought I'd bring them up again. As far as indie music goes, this is how it should be done. Mobius Band electrocutes nipples and are worth an honest listen.

what have we

The Answer Will Question Still

2007-09-24T19:04:00.000-05:00

The Answer Will Question Still

Every Monday I'm blindsided by the same questions from the same people. First, HR corners me in my office, then the IT guy blocks me in the doorways. The question posed-

'How was your weekend?'

I'm sure they don't really care, they are just attempting to make small talk with the big thinker. I've learned to be short with these two so the reply is always the same.

'I didn't do much, wish it was longer.'

Well, for the past two weeks that has been the truth. Saturdays I've gone to see some pretty mediocre movies and spend so much time lazing around on Sundays that I'm in a daze for most of Monday. There will be a change in that routine this weekend, but my answer will remain the same.

I may come off as a cold person in the workplace. When I have to travel out of my office space to the copier I tend to walk briskly to avoid a few members of the staff. Often I'm caught in an unbreakable stride with the most annoying and meaningless inquiry-

'Hey, how are you doing.'

No eye contact on my part and the response-

'Fine.'

That's all, and most times I'm sure they don't hear me. I don't return the question, mainly because I really don't care. Is that not wrong? Nice wording. Aside from the instances described above, I think I am well-liked and popular at work.

Last season, Monday nights was take-out and Heroes and maybe something on MTV. I kind of miss the company, this season won't be the same. Chuck seems pretty good and I hope Heroes can keep it up. With this DVR, I won't miss anything...unless I die. Can't wait for Lost...and college basketball...and to get a life

the days to come

The Way You Take It

2007-09-23T09:46:00.000-05:00

The Way You Take It

Eastern Promises with Viggo Mortensen was the violent, throat slashing, nude fight scene, stab in the eye movie I saw last night at Midtown Art Cinema. The film was okay I guess, I was more excited about the trailers.

Wes Anderson, Owen Wilson, and Jason Schwartzman have conspired to create The Darjeeling Limited along with Adrien Brody. I am a huge fan of Wes Anderson films and have collected most of them, Bottle Rocket is hard to find. I also have a liking for Owen Wilson, so much that I made a get well card for him. I will be seeing The Darjeeling Limited...if it is showing at the Midtown Art Cinema. I'm confused about the opening date.

The other trailer that caught my attention was Across The Universe. The Virgo mentioned it to me some time ago and I was curious as to what she was talking about. I now see, and from the looks of things it seems as though I will enjoy it. I just have to find out where it is showing.

Pela sounds like a mixture of Modest Mouse and The Killers and I like. Minus The Bear is still high in the rotation. Moving Mountains, Shapes & Sizes, and Pinback are becoming well liked.

been a while, hasn't it?

The Ass I Kick

2007-09-12T20:39:00.000-05:00

The Ass I Kick, The Names I Take

A flippin' 14 hour work day that I owned so bad. For any other being, it would have been an admirable feat; for I, it is the essential normalcy. The catastophic shit-storms that would have rendered most humans powerless [and smelly], I turned the tide and became the force majeure [and shit free]. The ineffable dialogue, the witty/sarcastic humor and quips, all with the backdrop of my overall lameness...an insatiable life I lead.

Indie music! Meneguar, My Brightest Diamond, Explosions In The Sky are part of the new rotation. I also picked up a mixtape, Hey You, Play This In Your Car Stereo Vol. 1, and loved Starfucker, Acres, Eskimo & Sons, and Typhoon. If you dare, give them a try.

does anything I said seem relevant at all?

The Subtle Shades Of Meaning

2007-09-10T20:25:00.000-05:00

The Subtle Shades Of Meaning

Sunday morning I overcame my fear of horses and went to the Midtown Art Cinema for a showing of 3:10 To Yuma. It was either that or King of Kong but I'll save the latter for an outing with friends. I was suprised by the size of the audience and comforted by the fact that I wasn't alone in being alone. I guess I could rephrase that and say I wasn't the only person sitting by himself. The film was okay but there were areas that needed improvement, I'll leave it at that...it was a western.

Our hearts are numb. I wonder how long it was before the involuntary reaction of the beats became...insensible. So goes the repititiousness of our...excuse me, most of your lives. You will become numb and invisible. I saw a red moon this morning. I pushed work to the limit. I made other's days better. I listened to great music. You're only half-born, you've got to stay alive.

like O, like H

The Broken Frame

2007-09-08T12:39:00.000-05:00

The Broken Frame

I saw a broken picture frame and my machine began turning. Will the colors escape a painting as waves crashing through levees? Will the scenes depicted emerge from their containment and become a demension without boundaries. Can photographs become life again? Gravity would be Earth's frame keeping it's beauty encased. The oceans don't spill, we fall but we don't fall.

I have no gravity. It seems as though my frame is nonexistant. That's why I'm such a dork, I figured it out. The union of an ostentatious imagination and the audacity to allow it to escape leads to the conclusion of my lameness. Yes, this I know...but will it end?

No Shit by Eskimo & Sons I love. Its the only song I've heard from them so far but I will continue my search. I think I have a great playlist of 286 songs, my favorites being Minus The Bear, !!!, Soular, and Tegan & Sara. Check them out.

The Universal Upside Down

2007-09-03T22:59:00.000-05:00

The Universal Upside Down

4 , 3 , 2 , 1

Windows down and I'm driving the speed limit for once, I want to savor this Summer night. Its no more that 75F and the breeze feels as if the Atlantic was just 2 miles away. Driving down curvy, tree-lined East Ponce outrunning the pursuit of the Lunar Object, I'm enjoying the indie-electronica outfit Apparat.

The preceeding night involved a visit to my favorite place to view films, Midtown Art Cinema on Monroe. Its a wonderful location that features independent or lesser-known titles which in this case was Rocket Science. Its a film for those with peculiar tastes in movies so it suited me well.

I have revamped my physical mp3 player with some pretty nice music. As Tall As Lions, Klaxons, I Am Robot and Proud, and my favorites thus far Air Traffic and Scouting For Girls. I've also updated some of the mainstays such as The Snake,The Cross,The Crown, Keane, The Shins and Chin Up Chin Up with some older and newer releases.

begging for more

The Cut & Paste

2007-09-01T18:29:00.000-05:00

The Cut & Paste

84mph crashing through raindrops, at this speed windshield wipers are not necessary. The silver sky struggles to hide the G2 Star with cumulonimbus pillows. A vacant mind, liberated of cares or worries in either of the three human tenses - I'm travelling through them. As Tall As Lions' self-titled is performing at pleasant decibles. I was thinking of you...just before I missed my exit.

September is here, like an unexpected guest that you attempt to make feel welcomed. Their presence is appreciated, though you wish they came later but you knew they would come soon.

stay,go

The Star Heart Chamber

2007-08-29T21:23:00.000-05:00

The Star Heart Chamber

During my presentation today I attempted to sprinkle a few anecdotes into the material being covered to spice things up. It did not work. I crashed and burned under the hot stage lights. The crickets were playing. I was horrible. I apologized to everyone in attendance and they pretty much accepted. In the world of entertainment, you have to have a short memory and pick yourself back up. I'm not in the world of entertainment.

Tomorrow morning I have another class/presentation and I will redeem myself. I'm not concerned with reading over the subject material and making sure I have a knowledge of what I'm talking about. No, instead I'm concocting a few quips and non sequitors, the more important things.

I have regenerated and now my health bar is about 92%, that's enough to unlock the Star Heart Chamber and make it to level 4. Next time I'll enter the cheat code, [up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, L1, L2, start] for everlasting life. [Idiot]

[Omfg!] I almost forgot. For the past week or so, one Cougar has been all over me. Today she basically propositioned me. I could go to HR, who I am also weary of, and file a sexual harrassment complaint, it was that bad. Seriously, she asked me to have sex with her in so many words. I respectfully declined. Her response was, 'let me know when you are ready for an older woman'. She's [fucking] 40! I maybe should have used a different [bad word]. Hey, she isn't the only Cougar that is making advances, this was just the most blatant and aggressive act...so far.

It was curtains for another co-worker. She obviously was not Made and didn't have any inside 'connections'. At one point we would carpool together...until her boyfriend met me. I didn't understand, she told him I was gay. Here's to the departed. [cymbal crash]

as you were

The Tourniquet

2007-08-28T11:18:00.000-05:00

At 24, I am the youngest in the office. Today there was an injury. Someone received a laceration to the leg, not too serious. We have yet to replace the Safety Coordinator who would normally handle these situations. I'm hanging out on the other side of the building wasting time, being a dork, and socializing and I received the call, 'Todd, please dial 407.' I call. 'Hey Todd, its Cathy. We have an injury and John is in a meeting, can you handle it?'. What am I supposed to do? [Fuckers]. I find as much paperwork as I can and make my way to my office where The Injured is waiting...in my office...bleeding. I give him the paperwork to complete and walk briskly to find a First Aid Kit [since no one else thought of it] and gather the most useless items such as burn cream, a tourniquet, and a breathing strip for myself but also more relevant things like gauze, anitbiotic ointment, and bandages. The entire time I was questioning why I was elected to treat the individual, and most importantly why did he take his bleeding leg into my office?

Also, the Canon copier and I spent some quality time. It seems as though others neglect her. On two occasions there were jams and no one took the time to repair the problem. I follow the instructions on the wonderful touch screen and gladly open her up and removed the obstruction. Later in the investigation I find that the original document belonged to HR. I stroll over to her office and place the original on her desk with a knowing glance...she knew I knew.

they call you echo, because you always answer

The Mortal Element

2007-08-27T10:47:00.000-05:00

The Mortal Element

We all must arrive to the realization that I am indeed a mortal being. I don't fall ill too often, in fact its been almost a year since even the smallest cold. Since this is a rare occurenece, I'm not sure how to react. I will admit I am more aggrivated and feel a slight bit of frustration only because the sinus pressure is making it difficult to enjoy my music.

Its going to be interesting later in the week when I have presentations to give. As I sing along to songs there is a noticible rasp in my voice and I have to strain in order to be heard which affects my lung capacity. There has to be a miraculous recovery in order to be up to standard, but in my case, my worst day is better than others' bad days.

Yes, unfortunately I am...mortal. In Greek Mythology, a Hero is created when an immortal god or goddess 'hooks up' with a human. I'm trying to firgure how Dorks are created so I can end this tragic cycle.

so long

The 3 Libras

2007-08-22T22:40:00.000-05:00

The 3 Libras [maybe more]

I remember in 2000 I would listen to The Goo Goo Dolls, Citizen King, Red Hot Chili Peppers and A Perfect Circle while playing Final Fantasy or reading War and Peace when I didn't have baseball practice. My favorite song at the time was 3 Libras by A Perfect Circle because I had a crush on someone. Later in my life, the song has taken on a lot of different meanings in several different types of relationships with Libras. But in particular, there is one Virgo where our relationship is accurately described in this song. No, I don't have a crush for anyone except for the Sun and other planetary objects...

And maybe Danny from So You Think You Can Dance. Sabre won by the way, Danny was the runner up. The finale show was amazing, especially the acts where they all performed together, the one where Danny was the 'alpha-male'. It was time for a girl to win, as the Virgo said, but Sabre really dropped the ball towards the end and Cat's dress was horrendous. I'd pay to see the tour when it comes to the area. I swear I'm straight.

Maritime is hot shit. No One Will Remember You Tonight and People,The Vehicles are brilliant pieces of art that should be admired.

Speaking of art, MINT is hosting a Mixtape Art Show Saturday night that one of my friends is involved in. Its a cool location near Inman Park. 684 John Wesley Dobbs Ave. Unit B., Atlanta, Ga 30312. I may go. I also have two tickets to see the Selmanaires Thursday night at The Star Bar and no one to go with. Thought you would want to know.

.apparently.nothing.

The Evens Are Against Us

2007-08-20T19:11:00.000-05:00

The Evens Are Against Us

You are now reading the words of Decatur's Wiffleball Homerun King. Saturday night I hung out in Decatur with the same crowd from the tailgating that took place earlier last week. Of course, there was beer and food but we also played a game of wiffle ball where I was the losing pitcher, and later I participated in a homerun derby with some of the guys. It was a tight race but I pulled off the victory with 2 hits in the first round, 0 in the second, and 1 in the [sudden-death/ spelling-bee] rules extra inning or whatever. I wasn't rewarded with anything but the opportunity to begin this post with the dorkiest opening statement.

Other than the usual Bud Light, I tried a few new beers at the suggestion of The Doctor over his stories of being called a Dick. Terrapin Rye Pale Ale had a very odd taste that made sure that it was my first and last bottle of it. The banjo playing turtle on the lable was funny. I'd say I liked Black Dog Amber Ale because had a chocolatey taste, maybe because I was wasted from that point on.

Then came the hilarious gay couple who brought their portable bar and mixer. The Two and The Cougar were planning to set up The Host with a date and embarrasingly pointed out reasons why The Host was single, while The Cougar openly and repeatedly expressed her desperousity [the feeling of being desperate, my word]. These guys had us all in tears and blushing with their risky rants and observations only gay males can succesfully accomplish. Great time. I'd gladly mix it up with this older crowd again.

M.I.A.'s Kala release has given me the opportunity to look like an ass at red lights. It is impossible to refrain from some type of movement when listening to Down River, World Town, and Jimmy. This has to be the best realease of the year in this particular genre.

I don't like Eisley as much as I thought I would. The music doesn't sound original. A Fine Frenzy, Maritime, and The Snake,The Cross, The Crown on the other hand, have rising stock. Chin Up Chin Up, Menomena!, and Sunset Rubdown receive heavy play, even when settings are on random.

muscle on

The Luscious Mix of Words And Tricks

2007-08-18T10:24:00.000-05:00

The Luscious Mix of Words And Tricks

A long time ago, last Tuesday night, I attended a tailgating session and a Braves game just so happened to be scheduled. I think they played the Giants. . .and I'm not sure who won. I do remember a wave, and the 7th inning stretch singing of Take Me Out To The Ball Game, but the rest is beer, and beer, and beer. My firt experience with Bud Light and Miller Lite. I hesitate to add them to the beer list, although I'll consider it because the list is quite small, and embarassing. I have an impotent beer list. We played Flip Cup, my first and favorite drinking game. No winners, no losers...except for...

With work which included a presentation looming the next day I was fearful of a hangover. What the opposite. I woke a couple of hours early with an energetic feeling that found me dancing/shaving to Daft Punk at 5:00am. Once I arrived to the classroom and made my introductions I noticed my speech was slurred just a tad. I wonder if others picked up on this.

I like the Delirium beers. Its a Belgian dark ale with a high alcohol content so to lessen the strong taste, a rotation with a glass of water is practiced, or even more lame[r], I'd put ice cubes in the glass of beer. I'm glad I can find it in the local Bottle Shoppe but the thing is, they only carry it in pints which is about 3 servings. After 2 I'm pretty loose but I have to finish the bottle, its corked.

Architecture In Helsinki has grown on me. City Calm Down, One Heavy February, Souvenirs [I recognized from a Sprint advertisement], and Like a Call are some favorites from Fingers Crossed.

I suddenly realized that John Vanderslice has a Postal Service sound which is a good thing. Maybe a tour with Vanderslice, Death Cab For Cutie/Postal Service/Dntel, and Iron & Wine would be perfect.

Panda Bear is fantastic but Grizzly Bear is not. The sound is almost alike, but Pandas far more viscous than Grizzlies, its a fact.

Circa 1:22 into All My Hamocks Are Dying by Chin Up Chin Up and the 2:12 mark of Split Needles by The Shins and is what I'm all about.

love,
todd

The Solar Crush

2007-08-13T20:29:00.000-05:00

The Solar Crush

Last night I was able to see the red sun setting. This morning was the red sun rising. Rising above the of trees and fog. I'd say it was beautiful, just because my vocabulary has become extinct. The morning's blushing star rose from an ocean of suspended molecules and wooden statues. Idiot.

Those two instances of seeing the sun brought me back to the movie Sunshine. I'd pay to see it again, I'd buy the dvd and watch it with others. I'd probably blog about it again. Awesome film. I love the Sun, but I'm not 'in' love with the Sun. I'm no Icarus. It is a burning star. Its [fucking] people up at the moment because its hot as a shaggy dog's ass. But I still love the sun, more than the moon.

Ohhh, but enough about me...

Do you call a setting sun a sun rising? Sunset Rubdown is yet another one of those unique indie bands that has me begging for more. The tracks Magic vs. Midas, The Mending Of The Gown, The Taming Of The Hands That Came Back To Life, Setting vs. Rising, and Child-Heart Losers from the release Random Spirit Lover inspire me, but make everything else sound so second best, except for Chin Up Chin Up. They solidify the line up on my sleak black Samsung mp3 player. Remember those Shure earbuds I purchased? Worth every expensive penny.

John Vanderslice, The Snake,The Cross,The Crown, and Panda Bear will be talked about and punched in the face soon, along with Maritme and Eisley. I'm not sure if I like Grizzley Bear or Architecture In Helsinki yet because Sunset Rubdown makes them sound like crap.

i don't think i think i know, i [fucking] know

The One-Night Plays

2007-08-13T12:45:00.000-05:00

The One-Night Plays Where We Can't Be Who We Want To Be

The banner is a Chin Up Chin Up crop that didn't turn out so well. The plan, we'll call it What-I-Wanted-To-Do, was to capture all of the instrumental components. Due to the space constraints of this semi-custom template, the bass and keyboard are not seen. The music these guys create is supreme. The lyrics never make sense but I can relate, I'm weird like that.

This Harness Can't Ride Anything is a [punch in the face], and if you know me, a [punch in the face] is definitely a good thing. The lyrics 'everyones afraid of one-night plays where they can't be who they want to be' describe what used to be my trouble. As you may know, I was the epitomic pushover/people pleaser who had no identity. I played the roles that were given to me. Now, I understand I'm quite weird and quirky and comfortable being so.

When I began this blog it was not too personal. The name was Conventional Representation, for no reason. It had no identity and I would quote lines from movies and music lyrics. [Fuck] that. Now its 'weird' as I hear a lot, and someone was tripping on shrooms when they said its 'fascinating'. Now its Indie Progressive Life. Its my genre, its me. Experimental, everchanging, and against the grain.

For the reason I don't say much and the [shit] that goes through my vague machine is [. . .], my sound is a melodic instrumental with wicked intros and manic percussions and very few lyrics, such as the band described above. When words are spilled its mostly distorted. Not everyone will like me, not everyone will know about me.

I have replaced Iron & Wine! Its back on my mp3 player. Everyone should check out Maritime, Sunset Rubdown, and Eisley. I promise you will not be disappointed. More on them later.

i'll be your weather [or not]

The Flickering

2007-08-08T20:22:00.000-05:00

You don't care, but its okay.

I skipped out on a meeting today. Hey, I wasn't invited. I guess I did such a fantastic job of not participating in last week's sit downs they saved me the agony of the 'slow talk' from Mike. My mind always associates situations with movies, but we could have our own Godfather family in the workplace. We have a Mikey, Paulie, Jimmy, Johnny, Tommy, Bobby, Tony and Jaimie. Sounds like one on the surface, but when you get into the intricate workings in the communication processes, the lingo and the disappearance of the Safety Coordinator, I think we have a case..I think they 'rubbed' him out. Most of the women wear too much make up and I've seen more than 3 gold chains with crosses on the hairy chests on some of the fellas.

I think I'm Made, and lucky I am. Maybe I shouldn't have skipped that meeting! Now that I think about it. I'm screwed, they might be meeting about how they are going to 'make me dead'. . .Nah, I'm too valuable. Now I've gotten myself paranoid.

Today, as they were walking past my office to the conference room, one of the more attractive cougars entered, for what I'm still unsure. She made a comment on the way the light was coming through the [7] windows and how my desk was so organized and of course how cold it was. As far as pick-up lines go, she could have done better. Kidding. I'm not a big fan of small talk so I just smiled and brushed her off. I walked towards the door and turned the lights off hoping she wouldn't get the wrong message. Thankfully she got it right and followed me out.

The [fucking] Shins are [fucking] awesome. I know they've been around for a while but they are just now growing on me. Split Needles was playing in the office a little too loud yesterday, I didn't care. Those To Come, Caring Is Creepy, and Pink Bullets are very good songs. I really miss Iron & Wine though. Elliot Smith is good chill music, I like to fall asleep to it.

The World Without Magic and Nada Surf are pretty good indie bands. I need to read a thesaurus or sprinkle some more [fucking]s around, that always emphasizes stuff. But the songs Where Is My Mind and Do It Again by Nada Surf are hot shit. But none is better than Chin Up Chin Up!

go Captain! let's go, let's go, let's go

The Metronome

2007-08-02T22:51:00.000-05:00

The Metronome

[So,] I was catching up on So You Think You Can Dance Wednesday night. The last one I saw there were 14 dancers left and tonight they are down to 8. The first routine was amazing and it really made me feel bad for missing the other episodes. I can always go back and watch them on the DVR.

Dominic had a weak partner and first routine which really sucked for him. He has quite the competition with Danny who has come a very long way. I like his style but Dom is a little more versatile and will be sure to win, he just needs to pick the right partner. The other dancers aren't half bad either, but the judges are annoying as crap.

The days at work are getting longer, I should start going in later in order to balance things out. I'm very thankful for my position and the new Canon copier [ImageRunner] in the paper room. Its fantastic, you don't eeeven know. I want one in my living room. Maybe not. . .it probably costs about $3k.

Dateline is evil. Their latest investigation, To Catch An I-Jacker is ridiculus. They left iPods on benches, cars. . .anywhere someone can find them and what did people do? They picked them up and either sold, used, or gave them away. Then the Dateline guy tracked the iPods down and had a hidden camera interview with the 'innocent' people who ended up with them. What happened to 'Finders Keepers'? If I 'found' an iPod I'm not sure what I'd do with it.

Maybe fill it up with Laura Veirs, who I am rediscovering, Autolux, Kennedy, Nada Surf, September, and the entire catalog of Chin Up Chin Up. Dare I say...Chin Up Chin Up is becoming my favorite band of ever?

Chopsticks & Tea Cups

The Part I Seem To Hide

2007-08-01T20:11:00.000-05:00

The Part I Seem To Hide

The plan was the Scorsese Double Feature at Atlanta's Fox Theater. The Departed and Goodfellas were back to back in the Coke Summer Film Festival. It was my first visit and I was not dissapointed. The crowd was pretty big but no match for the theater and the film was just as good as the other times I saw it. Unfortunately, we didn't stay for Goodfellas. That would have been another three hours. I'm already planning on going to the Fox again for Knocked Up, another installment in the Film Festival in the middle of August.

The job has become a bit more demanding, nothing I can't handle. It would suck if my job interferred with my personal life. . .or is it the other way around? All of these meetings, or as we like to call them in the office, 'Sit-Downs'. I'm used to standing over someone's cubicle and having a quick word, or better yet, trading e-mails with super-professional words such as 'proactive' and 'coordinate efficiently'.

The scene of the 'Sit-Downs' consist of a backdrop of [My New Office] and always [Around-The-Time-I'm-Supposed-To-Get-Off]. Send a Memo and let it be, Douche Bags!

invisible end

The Short-Haired Girl

2007-07-31T08:11:00.000-05:00

The Short-Haired Girl

I met the girl with short hair in a very small music store in the eccentricities of Little 5 Points, Atlanta last Wednesday. After a horrible Raspberry Mocha Frappuccino from Starbucks we proceded down to the Georgia Tech area for Flicks on 5th. Who can say they [almost] watched a feature film while sitting in the middle of a downtown street? Answer: About 53. The movie 300 was scheduled to show but because of the off and on rain showers I'm not sure if they made it to the death of Leonidas; we skedaddled.

Friday lead to another exploration of the city and a great movie. We caught Sunshine at the Midtown Arts Cinema which was a bitch to find. While waiting in the concessions line, we apparently appeared to resemble the 'Stop For Pedestrians' signs we see in the city because everyone walked in front of us...seriously. After the Twizzlers and beverages were purchased we settled into our seats and began with a hilarious preview for King of Kong. I believe Sunshine was an excellent Sci-fi film but my taste in movies is seldomly shared with others.

After the film, we planned for drinks in East Atlanta Village at The Glenwood. Weaning me away from 'Bitch Beer' like Mike's Hard Berry, the waitress recommended Blue Moon and later Delirium Nocturnum from Belgium. Those two got the job done very nicely. It doesn't take much for me.

After a quick recuperation with Starbucks and Sobe Adrenaline, we take on Saturday. A stop to the Hartsfield-Jackson Atlanta International Airport to retrieve an acquaintance began the day. The drive there made me thankful for my current job. I used to loath the feeling of going to the airport to begin one of my week long tours. Then there was disappointing shopping at Perimeter and filling sushi in downtown Decatur. I didn't get enough of The Glenwood so we round out the night there, this time for Delirium Tremers.

I say, finally getting home around 4pm Sunday evening is the ending to a fantastic weekend. Thanks to the short-haired girl, G.

Chin Up Chin Up.

The Awesome Idiot

2007-07-30T08:22:00.000-05:00

The Awesome Idiot

Sometimes I amaze myself with the things I allow to escape. Its not that I don't think before I speak, its that I think too much. I've been a pushover for quite some time and I have the scars to prove it from biting my tongue. Not wanting to offend, confront, or react; I told them what they wanted to hear, took the easy way out, or said nothing at all. Fear.

With this new optimism and fearless confidence, the things I once swallowed have escaped the lips. Most of the time its awful sarcasm, genuine wit, or BS philosophy and the remainder of the time its straight facts, honest expressions, and the hard-to-come-by No's.

[So,] after the change it turns out that in a sense, I was keeping myself a secret. Also as it turns out, I've got far more to offer. I still may be an idiot though, somethings are harder to escape. A tiger will always have its stripes.
Wait for it.

The Grand Scheme of Things

2007-07-23T22:34:00.000-05:00

The Grand Scheme of Things

I was entertained by the YouTube Democratic Presidential Debate Monday night. I loved the platform and it also further advanced my support of Senator John Edwards. While I don't personally agree with him on every issue, such as Same-Sex Marriage, I think Edwards is the best candidate. The Senator from North Carolina has the best and most creative ideas to combat the obstacles that everyday people face, like college tuition, minimum wage, healthcare, and environmentalism.

A smile appeared when Hilary described herself as a Modern Progressive and not Liberal. I loved that. I agree with much of what Biden, Dodd, and Richardson stated and it was pleasing to hear everyone's concern about Darfur. Barack was boring as usual and uses more 'uh's than I do when I'm improvising the BS at work. I dont think he is the least bit qualified.

Its a long shot, but my dream line up would be a Gore/Edwards ticket. That would be the most diplomatic and dynamic administration. I'd begin to have a positive feel of the future of the States. As it stands now, if I had children, I would probably move my family to another country, maybe Japan. Its a shame.

I really have a weak spot for women's issues and healthcare. This is where John Edwards brings it all home. Universal Healthcare and Women's Rights are his central points. I love women and its unfortunate that they are often overlooked when it comes to simple civil rights like equal pay and such. For the elderly and as well as those in poverty and some of the working class even, healthcare is difficult and almost impossible to obtain. Why?

I was hoping there was more conversation on immigration and less on religion. I was talking with an almost-friend about how politicians use their religious beliefs, mainly Christianity, to make decisions and in turn laws such as abortion and Same-Sex Marriage. And again, I agree with John Edwards as he states that personal faith beliefs should never enter politics. I disagree with Edawards on his comment on Hilary's jacket, it was nice I think.

I'm falling behind on So You Think You Can Dance. I have about 4 episodes line up on my DVR and I can't get to them yet.

G-Love and Special Sauce will be doing a show here soon. I'm going. The Shins are catchy, I'm becoming a liker of them.

The Verticle Atitude

2007-07-23T17:21:00.000-05:00

The Verticle Atitude

My weekend was okay. It was one of the more productive weekends in quite some time and also full of extremely long conversations via cell phone; an activity I don't participate in too often. It was very enjoyable, though.

Again, the Monday at work was full of nothing to do. Tons of socializing and attempting to look busy by having the file drawers open. I was thinking of changing the wallpaper on the desktop to a spreadsheet, that would be Ferris Bueller-like. I almost miss the cubicle setting but I wouldn't give up my office for it. I may have been playing Imogen Heap a little too loudly, but hey, its good music.

I have to attend a seminar tomorrow on the other side of town and I think I'm going to miss the workplace. I feel for those who hate their jobs. I look forward to going in and conquering all challenges. The sense of accomplishment is addictive and ambition is becoming habit. What a contradiction to the paragraph above. Maybe I have so much free time because I kick so much ass.

That leads me to this. One of the guys from the corporate office is setting up shop in the building. I've seen him around quite a bit but never introduced myself to him. He has unintentionally walked in on quite a few of my classes at just the right moments when I'm spilling on about a comedic experience. Today, Jay went out of his way to introduce himself and pry into my past work experience. He asks if I like where I am now and suggests openings in his department. Gives me a ticket to the seminar I'm attending tomorrow and says he already spoke to the General Manager, I'm just to go see what its all about. What the crap?

Oahu by Menomena! and Demensions and Verticals by Say Hi To Your Mom are on a constant repeat. Self Evidence by Timonium and Pushover by The Long Winters are fantastic. I love indie music!

The Words Have A Way...

2007-07-21T21:15:00.000-05:00

The Words Have A Way Of Slipping Right Out

This past week went well. Its how things should be every week. My office is all set up with the final additions being filing cabinets. The only complaint would be the horrible glare from the wall of windows to my right. I like the view so I don't want to completely close the blinds. I may have to do some interior designing and rearranging next week.

Whenever someone walks in they always use the cliche of 'its freezing in here', and find themselves wandering over to the thermostat. Like, what are they going to do? I'm sure they are just curious of the exact temperature and don't have the intention of tampering with the settings. Of course, not.

The Galaxy is taking on Chelsea and interestingly and David were on the sidelines for much of the time. The Beckhams are receiving quite enough camera time as the play is somewhat sub-par. What did I expect? Its no Premier League Championship. West London would have been a better scene for the contest. Will I sell out and buy Beck's jersey?

Menomena!, Aqueduct, Bedroom Walls, and The Shins have taken my mp3 player hostage. This is after I mistakenly deleted the entire Iron & Wine catalog. Shepard's Dog is a wonderful album as with most of Iron & Wine's releases. House by the Sea, Wolves, and Boy With a Coin are great, great songs.

The Breath That Filled Her Lungs

2007-07-18T21:40:00.000-05:00

The Breath That Filled Her Lungs

Four presentations in rapid secession (which I owned) and a corporate walk through all within a 5 hour window. Work isn't always fun and games, but with the remaining 3 hours I made it so. My mp3 player made its way into my office and sparked a lengthy conversation about my wierd tastes in music and film, a subject I discuss frequently here. What amazed me is that I'm not the only one.

Only Wednesday night and I'm trying to find something to do this weekend besides shopping. I sure someone will invite me to go somewhere or do something I'd rather live without, but I will most likely comply. I need an Xbox 360 or something so I can waste time playing Guitar Hero or Rock Band instead.

It was suggested I go to The Earl to catch Attractive Eighties Women perform Thursday night. Maybe. I never heard of them until 2 days ago and haven't had the chance to hear any of their music.

such a dork, I am.

The Platonic Bomb

2007-07-16T19:09:00.000-05:00

The Platonic Bomb

Today was one of the best Mondays I have had in quite a while. I woke up to the awesomeness of Why Is My Sleeping Bag A Ghetto? by Chin Up Chin Up after falling asleep with my supreme Shure earphones. That could could have been all and this day would have been considered a good one, but a few other events occured to make this Monday spectacular.

I didn't have any classes or presentations to give so I had the chance to finally sort through the mountain of paperwork and more importantly, socialize with some of the new faces around the office. The 'IT guy' miraculously completeled the new Dell set up in my office and now the network is extremely fast, which basically means I can update a lot more stupid spreadsheets while browsing the IKEA site and blog simultaneously. I also now have a more convenient usb port which allows the opportunity for me to be less productive when I start bringing my mp3 player. I just have to be carefull when there are meetings next door in the conference room.

For lunch, I ventured out of the confines of the workplace with one of the new faces, another bright eyed being. She and I enjoyed the afternoon sun and a hilarious conversation over Firehouse Subs on someone elses dime. Strictly platonic, seems like a start I guess. There wasn't even any traffic on the drive home, I'm afraid what tomorrow entails.

I now have a liking for Tina Fey after watching a few episodes of 30 Rock online. She is hilarious and smart and I dig the imperfections. I had no idea she was married, thanks to wiki.

In an attempt to increase the popularity of soccer in the States, one of my favorite football clubs, Chelsea, will be taking on the LA Galaxy for David Bekham's debut on the 21st. Any other time I'm sure it would be a landslide victory for Chelsea, Cole, and, Drogba but its going to be Beckham's day. What a set up. Its tough to watch MLS after watching the UEFA and World Cup. Seeing my favorite footballers Ronaldinho, Rooney, Thierry Henry, and Renaldo once a year is better than watching a season of MLS. The rest of the world is just on a higher level when it comes to soccer, among other things. I hope the Beckham fiasco does more good than harm.

Almost a month ago, while jamming to a remix of Daft Punk's Superheroes, a huge grasshopper I later named Fransisco crashed into my windshield. I first thought he was a leaf the way his wings fluttered between the wipers. I turned on the misters and I saw that he was still alive I was amazed. I had to be going about 55 when I heard the impact. When I parked I raised the wiper he was entangled in and attempted to assist him but he stubbornly declined. He proceded to hop his way off of the hood and found his way to the grass.

Love,
Todd

The Overwhelming Ocean

2007-07-15T14:05:00.000-05:00

The Overwhelming Ocean

I woke up to a missed call from a number I didn't recognize. I'm thinking it was someone who called the wrong number. I hope it wasn't an emergency, it was placed around 3:00am. I hate it when that happens.

Another weekend of shopping. I wonder if I look single when I go out. Anyway, I stopped by the Gap and bought several international city themed t-shirts for lounging. Tokyo, Bombay, and Paris are my favorites. By the by, Japan is on my list of destinations along with France. As soon as I save up enough and find someone to accompany me I will be sure to make the trip across the overwhelming ocean.

I also bought a belt, couple of pair of khakis for work, and more jeans, you can never have enough jeans. I still haven't worn either pair of shoes I bought last weekend, but still I bought two more. I think of the video I Like Shoes on the LOGO network. Its pretty funny and very gay, but that was the point I guess. I'm really not a shoe person but my closet is beginning to appear that I am.

I made another purchace purely on impulse. I strolled into Best Buy to check out the new releases from Tuesday and nothing really caught my eye. I remembered the headphones I bought last week sound like crap so I went to look at their selection. I ended up buying a pair of Shure earphones for $100. Idiot. I hope they live up to what the sales associate bragged about, and so far I'm not dissapointed. They sound great and are extremely comfortable.

Oh yeah, I went to see Live Free or Die Hard, or Die Hard 4 with some guys from work. The Mac guy was riding shotgun most of the movie and surprisingly reprised his role as a computer geek. The film was not as bad as I thought it would be, but the company was.

Fire When Ready's song They Call Her Echo is great. Their album As The Sky Stared Down With Angry Clouds is full of them.

sleeptight

The Break Light

2007-07-11T23:37:00.000-05:00

The Break Light

Commuting to work and seeing the sunrise instead of brake lights is greatly relaxing. Traffic in the Atlanta area can be a killer. On several occasions I have spilled a beverage in my lap on the drive to work because of braking suddenly. The result being the walk of shame through the entrance with a seemingly large area of wetness that bears the resemblance of me relieving myself.

Just imagine how my passive aggression takes hold while I hear the comments of my peers as I curse them under my smile. I make a dry threat that the next person who says something will not receive an explanation and usually a 'higher-up' calls my bluff. Motherf...

Thankfully, I see the sunrise several times a week and the only time I get the feeling of disavowed aggression/anxiety and do my best Barry Egan impression is when I mispronounce a word or use it improperly. Maybe that is obsessive compulsion, but that's quite enough personality disorders to discuss in one post.

I watched 40 minutes of High Tension and switched to Goodfellas which containse my favorite scene of all. The visit to Pesci's mother's house with a body in the trunk and they wind up eating a meal with her. They exit with a knife and shovels. That is dark humor.

luego

The Artful Engineer

2007-07-09T10:41:00.000-05:00

The Artful Engineer

I blame Vodka & Cranberry and Heineken for the great time I had over the weekend. After work Friday I visited the Perimeter Mall and bought a couple of pairs of awesome shoes and some pretty nice hats. On my way out I stopped and bought St. Vincent's release Marry Me. The sound is almost like Regina Spektor but still a great purchase nonetheless. Now,Now, Jesus Saves,I Spend, Human Races, and Your Lips Are Red are standout tracks. Elliott Smith's New Moon is a good listen also if you like Cary Brothers or Josh Radin. Just a few of New Moon's songs that shine are Thirteen, Ms. Misery, Either,Or, Georgia,Georgia, Half Right, and Angel In The Snow

Saturday night was great fun and I remember 70% of it. I recall the attractive Smirnoff bottle and the matching cranberry juice and how pretty it was in the glass. I remember Heiniken not tasting that bad and the numerous women I categorized as 'my type'. However, I don't recall the ending or who drove me home. That probably won't happen again in the near future. I'll return to sake and Scrabble after dinner from now forth.

Sunday, after retrieving my automobile, was a trip to Best Buy for a recipe for rehabilitation - DVDs. Because of indecisiveness I bought Gattica, Casino Royale, The Last Kiss, The Fountain and High Tension. I only had the chance to watch The Last Kiss and it was just as good as the first time. The night winds down with Modest Mouse's Good News For People Who Like Bad News and chocolate.

At The Drive-In's Relationship of Command is now my morning commute soundtrack. I love Enfilade, Quarantined, and One Armed Scissor

adios

The Following Is Presented In...

2007-07-06T21:04:00.000-05:00

The Following Is Presented In...

Today I attended a class in the conference room, next door to my office. I was told about 8 co-workers were to accompany me, but it ended up being the interim Safety Coordinator and myself.

I walked, correction, turned the corner towards the conference room about a half hour late expecting a corporate suit with thinning hair and bad coffee breath. As I made my entrance I discovered I couldn't have been wronger. A young, mildly attractive bright eyed creature stood with her hand extended for a greeting. My hands were both occupied, the left with my notebook and the right with my coffee mug (secretly filled with Monster). I utilize my exceptional coordination and accomplish the handshake and introduction flawlessly.

She smiles exposing her retainer and a resemblance of a quirky laugh escapes, at this point I am officially attracted to her. Before the class meeting began, she excused herself to remove her retainer. It reminded me that I wore braces for about 3 years of my life and wore my retainer all of 2 days after they were removed. When she spoke, it was obvious she was still adjusting to not having to deal with the apparatus.

Moving on, her fashion sense was very stylish judging by her frames and shoes. Her Starbucks seemed to be doing the job as she spoke extremely fast and could not remain still. For taking notes on these things, needless to say I didn't learn much. When all was said and done, she politely slipped me her business card and suggested I "give her a call anytime if I had any questions about anything." Score a point for me...I think.

'And bye-bye...and bye-bye you idiot...'
[Punch Drunk Love]

The Innocent Merger

2007-07-05T05:09:00.000-05:00

The Innocent Merger

The rendezvous point was decided to be the IKEA in Atlantic Station located in Atlanta Georgia. Walking through IKEA is an experience that could last hours, depending on the purpose of the visit. Genius design from the Swedes combined with with quality and functionality is probably the reason they are so popular, and the reason why I will probably furnish 60% of my new place with their product.

There was an eclectic mix of nationalities and a broad range of ages. This made for a perfect people watching event while we waited to make an innocent merger with the others. This IKEA is probably the only reason I would have to be in Atlantic Station. . .I'm more of a Ponce/Virgina Highlands guy if I say so myself. This analogy will explain it. Atlantic Station is to its pretty unlikely you will see me their as Midtown is to there is a good chance you will bump into me.

We headed over to Centennial Olympic Park and caught the tail end of the parade. . .not too exciting. A couple of laps around the park searching for a frozen refreshment and we decide on a $4 Lemonade. There was a stage that no less than 50 people were occupying and were accompanied with numerous, annoying sound checks. We had no idea who was on the bill but live music in the park is always good so we sit and wait. After an hour or so of enjoyable people watching and debating the unimportant, a local funk/rock band that couldn't grab any one's attention takes the stage. For an opening act they weren't that bad. The Air Force band and all of their covers seemed to be a crowd pleaser, too bad I don't like Fergie or Rascal Flatts.

After we learned who the opening act was I decided to call it a night. I was exhausted and the only one who had to work the next morning. I knew if I stayed any longer I wouldn't be able to resist having a few drinks and staying out until morning with the best bet being heading directly to work...it has happened before. This weekend, I hope, will be more eventful and enjoyable with my brother being in town.

This night concluded with Science of Sleep with director and star commentary instead of the televised fireworks. Even though there was fireworks show about a mile away and it sounded as though someone was break dancing on the roof, I fell asleep without a problem.

The Fake Light From The Sun

2007-07-01T04:34:00.000-05:00

The Fake Light From The Sun

Sting's offspring has formed a band that I absolutely love. Fiction Plane and their second release Left Side of the Brain has to be one of my top five favorites this year. I love all 11 songs and especially Fake Light From The Sun, Drink, Two Sisters, and Cross The Line. I haven't been so excited about any other band or release since Silversun Pickups and Carnavas. Fiction Plane is on the Police Reunion Tour, receiving much deserved exposure.

Stars are also filling up the disk space with their originals and remixes. Your Ex-Lover Is Dead (Final Fantasy), One More Night (Apostle of Hustle), Calendar Girl (Young Galaxy) and Big Fight (Minotaur Shock) are great. Feist's remixes are awesome too.

I just got my hands on Justice's Cross and ~~Cansei de Ser Sexy's CSS~~. I can't wait to listen to them as soon as I put down my Left Side of the Brain. The Jai Alai Savant suits the ride home from work perfectly and Iron & Wine's Shepard's Dog serves as a soundtrack for relaxation.

Hot Fuzz, what the crap is going on across the pond? Hot Fuzz was extremely funny by the way. It took about and hour and a half to get to the kick ass ass kicking though, its worth it. Simon Pegg and Nick Frost are the stars, you may recognize them from Shaun of the Dead, also nice.

The Moments I'm Not Dreaming

2007-06-30T16:28:00.000-05:00

The Moments I'm Not Dreaming

I've been so busy lately, this counting my 11th day without sleeping in, or having the chance to watch Ellen. Speaking of, I had or have what we used to call a crush on Ellen DeGeneres. I don't know what has me attracted to her, the humor?, the fashion?, or those moves? That's the sum of me, wanting what's impossible to have. . .in so many ways.

No work for me July 4th, I'll be ~~lulling over~~ celebrating my Independence. 1 isn't that bad of a number when you think of firsts and bests. I don't have to compromise or share my chocolate. I only have to worry about annoy myself and I seem to enjoy my indecisiveness sometimes. If I were a part of 2 this attitude would be unacceptable.

I finally have the opportunity to take care of myself and that seems to be going quite nicely I suppose. I'm a lot less stressed and the feeling of accomplishment rather than let-down is overcoming. I'm completing the short term goals I've set and preparing for even greater aspirations. I am somewhat surprised by my ambition and where its taken me. . .I'm not complaining.

The Moments I'm Not Dreaming are very rare to say the least. My imagination is beginning to soar as of late and I somehow grasped the ability to meditate and function simultaneously.

The Office re-runs are probably better than Evan Almighty. Arrested Development and Curb Your Enthusiasm are DVD necessities.

The Non Sequitur, I

2007-06-28T20:31:00.000-05:00

The Non Sequitur, I

My first experiences with Jagermeister occured earlier this week. . .the exact day before I was to officially assume the responsibilities accompanied with my promotion. I didn't intend to drink on a Monday night, not heavily at least. The intoxicating effects were masked with a can of Monster (normally RedBull) in which case I took more 'bombs' than I would normally.

Later in the evening while sitting through Knocked Up, I diagnosed myself as pretty much wasted. The film, however, was pretty much awesome. The most honest, funniest, true to life movie I've seen in quite a while. I highly recommend catching it. I don't recommend 6 Jagerbombs before a big day, the hangover lingers an entire 24 hours.

A nudge in my salary is obviously what is included with this promotion but what I did not expect was the loose job description and the overall, nothing to do. That is what I fear. Twice a week I am obligated to hold a class but other than that, I'm just wandering and attempting to appear busy. . .for seven hours!

It doesn't help when you are voluntarily working 15 days straight. This may explain this down tempo post.

Tuesday I had a sit-down with my General Manager concerning my 'office', where I learned there will be more space than I previously assumed. I was shocked to hear that the Safety Coordinator was 'no longer part of the team'. I've said before that he was never there and I've also heard rumors he made his way around with the ladies in the office, one being the Human Resources representative. Yowza. I can see how the attractive, young college graduate could have been involved with a few of the feisty 'cougars' there. I don't have a problem with the older women and their advances, but I've decided to keep them guessing.

I was called a lame/gay/old fart recently by someone I consider[ed] a friend because I went to bed early (11:08pm).

The Broken Protocol

2007-06-21T16:51:00.000-05:00

The Broken Protocol

I was watching So You Think You Can Dance last night -strike one- and I said to myself, "that's a very nice dress Cat Deely is wearing". -strike two-

I'm not out so to speak, but I'm not in either. I'm a very hetero~~sexual~~ male. I'm also not homophobic which is why I can enjoy shows like Project Runway, What Not To Wear, and the above mentioned So You Think You Can Dance (I think Dominic Sandoval is going to win). I can shop at Express and not like the NFL. I can drink sake and other wines and not like beer. I can be a fan of Brad Pitt and David Beckham and I can spend an hour in the bathroom grooming and not think twice about it. I can moisturize and dance to Daft Punk and Justin Timberlake's Summer Love alone in my car, and I'm just as straight as the next fellow. . .metrosexual.

Well, I was having a promotion-celebration lunch today with my Aunt at Hooters. I'm sure every guy says or thinks that the server was flirting with them, hey its their job to flirt. There is a line and I'm no fool. . .but Sabrina was giving me some play. No my type. She was cute but a little too Southern Belle-ish for my ~~tasty~~ taste. My Aunt, who is pretty well off, asks me when I was last at Old Navy, (her husband and I share a similar fashion sense) which was only a few days ago returning a belt that was too big. She suggests we go and pick some things out for Brandon Todd, the Uncle, for their upcoming trip to Chattanooga.

Walking down the strip we talk about Express and how hard the men's stores are hard to find, how she wishes an H&M was in town and we talked about my style of dress. "Yeah, not everyone can wear Express, you have to have the build for it. Like you, you're slim. Oh, there is this place I want to take you to, they have nice things that you will look nice in so I think you will like [gay/they] clothes." After a pause I laughed loudly and sarcastically. She corrected herself and said "their clothes".

Even my own family.

Aside from that it was a very nice outing. We racked up her credit card and went on our own unexpected spree (not at Old Navy). I got some very nice shoes from PacSunthat I can't wait to wear ~~after i do something about my legs,~~ and a few shirts I am extremely proud about.

I'm breaking the male Protocol, I'm not a pioneer. There are others that came before me, but there is no me.

Menomena[!] and Hot Hot Heat[!] are oldies but goodies. The Jai-Alai Savant is simply amazing and Circa Survive is ~~a little~~ way better than I thought.

~~ttfn~~ peace

The Double Entendre

2007-06-20T19:23:00.000-05:00

The Double Entendre

What a surprise! I wasn't on my way to or from work listening to college radio when I discovered a few great indie bands. First is Stars, I love their dancy sound but even more, I relate to the songs on a level where some of the lyrics are as if they narrate events that actually happened in my life. Weird in a good way. Mellowdrone and Low are just good down-tempo groove music with substance. CoCoRosie remains in continuous play. By Your Side is nice and Raphael and Werewolf still receive a repete. Blur is alright. Chin Up Chin Up is awesome to me. Their songs All My Hammocks Are Dying, Collide The Tide...amazing! On the indie.rock side Circa Survive and Fiction Plane are worth checking out. Somehow I'm shamelessly falling for a few indie.electro/dance acts that might be in the iPods of some of the attendees to this year's Pride. Datarock is very catchy and almost too obvious. All of their songs are filled with double entendres and innuendos but danceable. Hundred Hands is a little more reserved but you can get the message. Overdose of indie-progressive musica.

Speaking of jobs [,100 words ago,] another promotion looms in the balance. Basically a 'slam dunk' as one of my supervisors calls it. I'm just getting comfortable in my cubicle, after weeks of contemplating if I should personalize it as the older women have, I finally changed my wallpaper and customized my desktop. Major overhaul. . .I know. I guess I'm moving into an office, but there isn't a door so is it considered an office? It will also be shared with the Safety Coordinator but he's pretty cool [and never there].

There were also a few Office Space moments last week. I was approached 4 times[!] by different managers who all informed me of the exact same situation in close proximity, I'm talking less than minutes after each other. Pretty hilarious. Everyone thinks they work at Dunder Mifflin and compare their work environment to The Office. I'm in the same unoriginal boat. Quite a few interesting characters pass through and quite a few people aren't aware that the cubicles aren't soundproof. . .at all.

I'll leave you with some of my own memorable quotes from last week that serve as double entendres.

'I don't have a problem being gay' [after explaining I'm not]
'I have a problem with drugs' [after asked if I do them]
'I'm gonna shoot one off in your mouth' [don't ask]
'Nobody can screw like you' ['erecting' a wall with a co-worker, blurted in front of the General Manager]

good riddance

The Sames and The Changes

2007-06-19T10:18:00.000-05:00

The Sames and The Changes

[So,] What lives these are? The Characters we encounter, the events that occur, the times we won and the times we lost. This life seems to be ascending, though I'm learning to balance the keel. Its important not to get too high or allow yourself to become too low for that matter. Things are happening in pretty rapid secession its tough to analyze them as I would normally do. I'm no longer obsessing over the what ifs and whys and negative self talk, but rather focusing on catching the transfers and connectors and only having moments to enjoying what-just-happened during the layovers. This journey is taking shape quite nicely I must say.

The scenes have changed for a number of The Characters I have encountered. They are out of frame but haven't been written off. Their roles have changed while others' are taking center stage. These changes are wonderful experiences. The world isn't that screwed up with all of the beautiful people in it. Just getting to know them, the new friend[s]. The old one[s] were just as good. What are the chances they will reprise their roles, and I in theirs?

Until then. . .

The Sames are just as important and enjoyable. You realize that you are the same person with the same dreams and goals and its fulfilling. The sames keep you sane.

The Coming Attractions

2007-06-18T20:01:00.000-05:00

The Coming Attractions

I've been a little over-productive, hence the lack of posting. Here are several topics I will be writing about soon:

~~Jobs: Overachieving & Promotions~~
~~Friendships: Endings and Beginnings~~
~~Music: Stars, Low, and more CoCoRosie~~
Movies: The Science of Sleep
Life: The Seasons of It

santi

The Scopitonic Life

2007-06-12T18:17:00.000-05:00

The Scopitonic Life

I finally found Punch Drunk Love. The Two Disc Special Edition was only $9.99 at Best Buy. The party scene, The Smell of Blood is relative to an even I attended Saturday night. A birthday party for myself and a family friend, in which I was invited to hours before the commencement.

A few members of my family were there and loads of the other Gemini's friends who I introduced myself to. . .awkwardly. The relation between my and Barry Egan's party were the comments that were made to him that led him to smash the sliding glass doors in his sister's house. Of course, most comments were about my weight because I didn't want to eat. I didn't smash anything, but I did attempt to make a smooth getaway, to no avail. The awkward introductions I had to make myself were no match to the uncomfortable parting. The anxiety.

The Bonus Feature disc in the Special Edition of Punch Drunk Love is exceptional. It brings together the elements that makes this one of my favorite. Jon Brion, Leslie Jones, Jeremy Blake and Paul Thomas Anderson bring their expertise together in shorts and features that are exquisite. Blossoms and Blood and the Scopitones are extremely artistic and are just what I explained in the previous post concerning the score and visual interludes. Sandy isn't half bad either.

I enjoyed a pretty lengthy conversation last night, although I do not enjoy speaking over the phone. I think I held it together quite well.

Bedroom Walls are nice. In Anticipation of Your Suicide has been in my mp3 player for quite a while, I just added a few more. 31 Knots has been there a while too. I added some Coheed & Cambria. Check out this video for Kanye West's new single. Just mute the audio and appreciate the visuals....the 'smoke and mirrors' if you will.

The Epitome of Nothing

2007-06-11T17:29:00.000-05:00

The Epitome of Nothing

I hate it when sentences begin with 'so'.

So I'm watching 'the scariest comedy of all time', Young Frankenstein directed by the legendary Mel Brooks starring Gene Wilder, the original Willy Wonka. I am reminded of Reign Over Me with Sandy (Adam Sandler) and Don Cheadle, Mel Brooks movies can serve as a form of therapy. The characters in Reign go to a Brooks Marathon to 'get a dose of Mel'. Young Frankenstein is one of the more accessible Brooks films (it is constantly in rotation on AMC. . .with commercials) but it is in my opinion, not the greatest.

There is Spaceballs, Robin Hood: Men in Tights, and one of my favorites Blazing Saddles. The Parody is his gift and Mel does it well. I now must go to Videodrome and let indecisiveness overcome me. I want to see Punch Drunk Love, or Primer.

Primer is a great independent film that is very hard to find. I watched it thrice, the second to figure it out and the third to enjoy it. Its a classic!

Punch Drunk Love I want to see again because of Sandy, but more than that because of the score. Jon Brion, who is a good friend of Gondry and scored Spotless and Science of Sleep, also worked with Kanye West on Late Registration giving it a masterful feel. The score in Punch is accompanied with visual interludes that are also appealing.

The funniest scene in Punch is the confrontation between PSH, if you didn't know Philip Seymour Hoffman, and Sandy. "That's that!" I'm on my way to purchase it. . .and take it on the chin.

Oh yeah, CoCoRosie is the epitome of. . .nothing. The music is on another level. Werewolf and Raphael take you away, Japan makes you think and everything else makes you wonder. Very Indie Progressive in my book. 'Don't speak, I can hear you"

So, I was invited to my birthday party...

The Genuis Of Gondry

2007-06-06T22:46:00.000-05:00

The Genius of Gondry

The French aren't that bad. I first heard the name when I saw the surreal commercials for a company within the trailers at the theater for Lacuna, Inc. Then I went to see Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind and put two and two together. The 108 minute film has probably taken 1620 minutes of my life because I've seen it at least 15 times. I currently wish I could undergo the memory-altering procedure but that's another post all together.

Then, when I was a fan of Kanye West (he's almost in my good graces after hearing Us Placers and Stronger. . .almost), I learned Michel Gondry directed the Heard 'Em Say video and it was visually stunning. Making The Video on MTV gave some insight on the animated pianos, dominoes, and such. I began to do my research and YouTubed Beck, RadioHead, Bork, and White Stripes videos and became a fan of Gondry's genius imagination. As far as video direction, Spike Jonze isn't far behind. I'd see commercials such as for Gap and Smirnoff and know they were created by Gondry.

Then came The Science of Sleep which is one of those pieces of work that will be with me for life, again another post. The magic, the imagination, the dreams, and the dialogue were brilliant and intriguing to dissect. Nothing is off-limits and Michel pushes creativity to the edge. Every detail is thought out and original such as the plastic water.

I love Michel Gondry and wish he was a part of Paris, Je T'Aime along with Gus Van Sant, who directed the amazing Elephant, and the Coen Brothers.

I cannot wait for Gondry's upcoming films, Be Kind, Rewind, with Jack Black, and Master of Space and Time.

CoCoRosie! I am taken away with their music. It is, to say the least, way out there but also captivating. I heard Japan on my way home from work on the local college station and I was hooked. More to come...

The Knowledge, The Movement II

2007-06-05T23:14:00.000-05:00

The Knowledge, The Movement II

Is it responsible if one is aware of an issue or would like change but does not take action for a desired result? Such as a slow leak in a tire, a dead end career, a crappy relationship? Homelessness (here in Atlanta), AIDS, Healthcare, Immigration, Darfur?

Some citizens of The States only concern themselves with the politics of Iraq and more recently, the price of petro. Some may even go as far as immigration. Independent and Progressive are not only the genres of music and movies that suit my tastes, Independent and Progressive also pertain to my political and religious views. I'm definitely not a Republican and maybe not a Democrat. I'm not Conservative because I'm tolerant of basically everything and I'm not sure if I have enough in my accounts to be considered Liberal.

I somehow missed The Democratic Debate last night and caught the final remarks of The Republican Debate this evening. It was. . .shocking. I could not believe what I was seeing. The acts, the promises that will not be fulfilled, the unabashed shameless politics. Not to mention their views on issues such as immigration. Scary.

Mitt Romney looks the part. He's the smoothest criminal of them all. He kept alluding to Reagan and the future. When asked of immigration and the Spanish language being assimilated into America, (he runs campaign ads en Espanol) he says 'of course, I want their votes' and he somehow came to the subject of Asia's population and that we should look towards the future selling our products to them. ?. He's going to play Monopoly with America. The uberCapitalist. I have no issue with his religion. I was reading a book by Malcolm Gladwell, Blink, and he spoke of the Warren G. Harding Effect. Harding was the worst president ever. . .second worst after W. The thing that got him elected was his look.

Giuliani may be confused. He is running to be the President of The United States of America. It seems he is running for Mayor of The District of Columbia. Saying 'I turned around New York and if you elect me, I will turn Washington around too.'

The most shocking tidbits came from the Toms. Tommy Thompson said once that Miami is like a third world country. Miami is by far not poor city. I believe he was alluding to the cultural make up of the city with Hispanics/Latinos. Thompson goes on to say that Spanish should not be used as a language in The States and we must 'preserve' (which was an ongoing message in this Republican Debate for some reason. Like 'preserving' the Confederate Flag. It shows the intolerance of the Red Party) the English language because it 'holds us together'.

Tom Tancredo, a Paleoconservatist (sounds like cavemen) who believe that non Europeans should not be allowed to immigrate to The States, legally or illegally. He said tonight that at one point in the future, we have to be ready to stop all immigration in order to assimilate current immigrants to the American culture. Of course this means all non Europeans. 'Preservation' also came up in his comments.

Yes, people think like this in America. These are the same Americans who travel to different countries and do not take an effort to learn any part of the language or traditions in order to be respectful. This attitude of entitlement is not attractive and it alienates us all. They are the people who have a huge problem with the 1 second it takes to press a button for English.

Assimilation is how the African names and languages were taken away from the slaves. Assimilation is why Christianity is the only truly accepted religion and it's values are sort of a 'ride or die' law in The State. We sure did assimilate the Native Americans very well.

Assimilation should be the merging of cultures not forcing your views and customs onto another culture. Diversity is key to Progression! The Conservative White Americans and their politics are becoming a non-issue and they now find themselves begging and pleading for their own preservation. . .get the formaldehyde its time for their mummification.

John McCain, who I think is a double-agent Democrat, had the most sense of them all. On the language issue, his response was, 'Spanish was spoken in my state (Arizona) before we got there'. He also stated that we must give Hispanics/Latinos credit. Just look at the names on the Vietnam Memorial Wall. Visit Iraq and look in the eyes of the Hispanic/Latino men and women who are serving this country and tell them that their language will be abolished.

The White Stripes are not Americans but they have a stance on the immigration policy. In Icky Thump their newest single (I'm addicted to the song) they make a statement that White Americans are immigrants also. That is very true. Their video is subtitled in Spanish and it shows Jack walking across the Mexico border where they are building The Great Wall of Mexico. Stephen Colbert suggests we build a moat and fill it with alligators. Sarcasm.

One last subject. The term 'Islamic Terrorist' was used in The Republican Debate but not in The Democratic Debate. All terrorists are not Islamic and all followers of Islam are not terrorists. Just like all Republicans aren't racist. . .right?

And this Jabroni with TB that flew around the world. If he was a few shades darker he would be Clockwork Oranged to Guantanamo Bay.

The Knowledge, The Movement I

2007-06-05T23:10:00.000-05:00

The Knowledge, The Movement I

A few years ago I ceased listening to Hip-Hop as it was becoming an annoying fodder to my ears. If I so wished to become a purveyor of narcotics, survive in the prison system, or spend currency irresponsibly, Hip-Hop was becoming The Idiot's Guide To.

It is not my intention to couple every Hip-Hop act into this description because there are or could be some positive artists who participate in this form of music and represent the meaning well. In my experience though, this genre is overrun with just the opposite. It is prevalent in the violence, the degradation and abuse of women, and the lost youth of today as this is becoming their perspective and/or reality of their future and life.

Nas, who is arguably one of the greatest Hip-Hop artists, released Hip Hop Is Dead in 2006. There are no longer messages and the wordplay and creativity is in decline as the use of derogatory terms is utterly ridiculous and shameful, while the number of new ~~ways to look like an ass~~ dances are in surplus. Its embarrassing to witness .

While browsing through XM Radio I fell on XMU while there was a 30 minute Underground Hip-Hop session playing. One of the first songs was rap veteran KRS-One along with Marley Marl with Hip-Hop Lives. I was completely blown away. KRS-One states Hip is being knowledgeable and the Hop is the movement.

With that being said, I'm not back in the fold of Hip-Hop, KRS-One's definition referring to the knowledge and the movement only sparked my mind to think of all of the double meanings. I must pose the following question while changing the pace of this post. Is it responsible if one is aware of an issue or would like change but does not take action for a desired result? Such as a slow leak in a tire, a dead end career, a crappy relationship? Homelessness (here in Atlanta), AIDS, Healthcare, Immigration, Darfur?

continued

The Cycles Of Cycles

2007-05-29T21:25:00.000-05:00

The Cycles Of Cycles

Wow, watching the season finale of House, a show I do not catch regularly, put things into perspective. In the midst of reluctantly closing another chapter in my life and moving on, I seem to find myself in the cycle of...cycles. Over the years in my young adulthood I have become less and less religious. The traditional routines of church going and praying regularly have been replaced with a Joel Osteen audio book every once in a while, but to the contrary, my faith remains.

This brings me to House. As far as I know I do not have any illness. I sometimes receive the comments regarding my thin stature though I'm not sure its an issue of health. Nonetheless, I have decided to make a concerted effort to gain a 'healthier' build. I've mentioned before that I do not 'enjoy' food. I do not have an eating disorder, it is just my appetite comes and even sooner goes.

In my effort to improve every aspect of my life in order for full enjoyment, I begin to ponder every aspect of the future. Since health is the topic at the moment, it is difficult to fathom being in the position of the families and friends of patients in the program House, or for that matter, myself in the hospital bed preparing farewells. Nothing I wish to look forward to.

As the cynical House looks up to the heavens after a 'miracle' it brings me to think of the cold single life that lay ahead. House, witty and great in re-diagnosing errors with his dry-erase board, is also a cold and lonely individual. I don't want to end up as such.

I believe 24 is old enough. I will soon be moving into the diverse midtown area plush with university students and a thriving creative scene. I can walk to the festivals and concerts, walk to the best Atlanta has to offer, and walk. I'm sure there is something out there for myself, to get involved in the community is the premiere step and I am well along my way with volunteer/writing opportunities. I'm already there in a sense.

There are numerous events I shall be attending solo, and that's just fine. Screen On The Green is a free in the park movie festival showing classics all month at sunset and then there is the Fox Summer Film Festival. Among about a dozen or so newer films, there will be a showing of Pan's Labyrinth and a double feature of The Departed and Goodfellas. I will definitely be in attendance at both!

The Bird And The Bee is all the indie music I have to offer at the moment. Still enjoying all that is already discovered. And re-discovering Van Hunt.

I miss you guys!

peace

The Inspiration

2007-05-28T18:59:00.000-05:00

The Inspiration

"Crappy bands inspire us, they give us inspiration not to suck!"

It is my experience that crappy people can inspire me. I've had some pretty bad examples to follow. The people in the position of guidance and responsible for little things such as advice, support and encouragement have failed...miserably...tragically...unfortunately. I've come to realize this over time and at this point it shouldn't matter. I'm old enough and maturing, finding my place on this planet. But the fact is, these people have done their job in inspiring me not to fail myself and those I care for. They are everything I wish not to be, an inspiration.

I get most of my inspiration from great music. Dios (Manos), Let's Go Sailing, Tmonium and Say Hi To Your Mom is recommended listening. I credit the college radio station 88.5 here in Atlanta for discovering them. Georgia State University students host the shows and you can discover some great bands amidst the Contemporary Japanese and Broadway sessions. XM radio's XMU is also a great place to find some great indie music like Elbow.

I was planning to go to Big Day Out, a concert promoted by the alternative radio station here, 99.7. Plans were nixed. It would have been my first concert and its loaded with tons of independent acts. I'm sure it would have been a fun, memorable day and would have served as my birthday celebration. As it stands now I plan to be renewing my car registration and downloading music.

Speaking of birthdays. To me its like my very own New Year. I take a look back at where I was last year and see if I'm better off, the same, or worse than I am now. Last year I just quit my job as a flight attendant and started working for my dad. The pay was good and exciting in the beginning. Later on it became lonely and I didn't like flying from city to city sleeping in (very nice) hotels alone. The job I have now is far less glamorous but the pay is about the same but I wish I stayed in the air.

Around this time last year I was starting a relationship with an amazing person...one of the best I know. Things didn't work out but I thought I would break my record of being a relationship for more than 12 months. Maybe next time I'll slow things down a bit. Now I plan on going 12 months without someone, we'll see.

Taking it all into account, I can say I'm a little better off than I was yesteryear. I'm not where I want to be, but I'm getting there. I'm not who I want to be, but I'm getting there. The inspiration not to suck. The inspiration to prove you wrong.

An old Chinese proverb says, 'success in the end, erases all of the mistakes along the way'. Do you agree? I do not.

The Loss Of Self & The Tangent Filled Life

2007-05-20T19:46:00.000-05:00

The Loss Of Self & The Tangent Filled Life

Laura Veirs! One Sunday morning around 3am I found myself on my way to the only thing that seems to be going right, the only thing I seem to matter, the only thing in which I excel effortlessly and just so happens to be one of the many things I'd rather live without, my job. Recently receiving a quasi-promotion with a pseudo-raise and awarded Employee Of The Month amongst the underachieving, conspiracy theorists who always need $1, further confirms I can do a hell of a lot better. Not only career-wise but also in the 'people' I choose to pursue relationships with.

In compliance with The Tangent theme, Rushmore, from my favorite director Wes Anderson who coincidentally directed one of my favorite movies I feel the urge to mention, The Life Aquatic With Steve Zissou, the quote 'with friends like you, who needs friends' comes to play here. Written a letter authored in crayon by a straight faced character who was just informed his chapel partner was spreading rumors that said character's mother gave him a hand job, its just humorous to me...you have to see it. If this is what friendship is, I'd rather do without it. I'm sure you are justified because how could you trust me? I'm a liar right? No. I'm conflicted right? No. I'm human.

Laura Veirs! I heard Don't Lose Yourself on the college radio station here, 88.5 early on my way in to take a nap at work. I really like it. I learned not to throw 'love' around because it doesn't come back...most of the time. You can find it in my flash/mp3 player along with the band, Phoenix. They can change your mood, Phoenix is pretty upbeat and happy even when the subject doesn't seem so.

With everything that's been said, I still cherish what 'relationship' I have...with both of you. I'd really love to prove you wrong, I'd really appreciate some type of friendship in the living future. I'll leave it up to you, I'm not the victim, I'm the victor. Is that right? I'm guilty I should say, of lying.

And Laura Veirs is cool listening. Feist is nice too, I like her voice, its beautiful. Brazil is pretty cool and even though I only heard one song, 31 Knots is a band worth checking out. Along with Let's Go Sailing.

That is all.

The Scars

2007-05-19T18:20:00.000-05:00

The Scars

I have a few. The earliest scar I am aware of is a quarter round 'scar' on the inside of my left knee. It occurred almost 10 years ago from a bicycle accident. I was learning to ride with no hands in the neighborhood. I'd go down a curved hill, cautiously avoiding any cracks or debris in the street while steering with my right hand. After I built up the gumption to do so after about my eight time around I'd slowly raise my left. I succeeded. Then I tried with no hands....an no feet. Thus, a scar was born.

The second, smallest, and by far the most expensive scar is on my left index finger just below the knuckle. Once in time, I was an Assistant Manager at a movie store. As I was stocking the Twizzlers one evening before close I inherited a laceration from a box cutter. To this day, I am clueless as to how it happened and there is no way possible to stage a dramatization of the events, it is universally impossible (my creativity with words). I'm sure the blood on the deposit money left the bankers with room for imagination. After 30 minutes (it is now 1am) of an exaggerated never ending geyser, I saw it fit to drive myself to the medical center. To make a long story longer, I encountered a literal roadblock on the entrance ramp to the interstate and after 5 minutes of fumbling for my license with my good hand, I was allowed to pass. Once I arrived I was immediately triaged and glued back together. No stitches, just glue. $500 glue. The scar curves about an inch.

Then there is that fading scar on my wrist.

It is my philosophy that a scar symbolizes that healing is complete, there is tougher layer there. Most scars don't fade away and serve as a reminder of what happened. When I began this post I would have said I have a figuratively scarred heart...but its more like an open wound. I am bleeding out but attempting to move along. Its a self inflicted wound of sorts so I think I have to go it alone because those 'people' aren't there anymore. When they said start over, I thought they meant start over. When I said I've changed...I meant I'm changing.

Namaste

The Anesthetic Never Set In...

2007-05-13T18:03:00.000-05:00

The Anesthetic Never Set In And I'm Wondering Where The Apathy And Urgency Is That I Phone In.

You know what I think. Here is my conspiracy theory...I think (for now) that drug companies or pharmaceutical manufacturers like Pfizer and Merk make drugs without an initial need or market. Then doctors and psychiatrists begin to diagnose patients and prescribe the medication in conformity. Capitalists.

Think about it, I estimate 80% of the people I interact with are on some type of medication and I myself have been asked/persuaded to seek these 'restorative agents'. What did people do in 1950 when there wasn't an abundance of prescription medicine? I figure they bought some elixir from some dude with some mustache standing on some soapbox trying to make some money. He thrives on hypochondriacs, is this what our pharmaceutical manufacturers doing? Maybe its just advancement of technology and science is getting stronger. I'd like to believe that.

I'm not against meds because they do great things for people, but I know God didn't screw up while make our generation. Why are there so many f'ing commercials for sleep aids and anti-depressants. I mean...a commercial for prescription medication with a checklist of symptoms to tell your doctor you are experiencing. 'If you feel blank, have trouble blank...' so on and so on.

Take it a day at a time.

The Air

2007-05-09T17:58:00.000-05:00

The Air

Air is Jean-Benoit Dunckel and Nicholas Godin. They have been around for quite some time. I saw their video for Once Upon A Time on Fuse and it is visually brilliant. The Music is amazing also...for now. I hope it doesn't get old because I really like it. In my mp3 player their are some of the songs from there most recent release, Pocket Symphony. Enjoy!

_My friends are all beautiful...I don't have many but you know who you are. You are all the best I know_

The Typical

2007-05-07T11:21:00.000-05:00

The Typical

Mute Math is addictive. Check out their site and their cool YouTube video for Typical. I was also introduced to this band by a friend and it took about a year for them to grow on me. I absolutely love them. Sound Tribe Sector 9 is also very awesome, click away.

The Same Old Blood Rush...

2007-04-30T10:59:00.000-05:00

The Same Old Blood Rush With A New Touch

Cute Is What We Aim for is a guilty pleasure for me, along the lines of Hellogoodbye. Its good music but after listening to a few tracks and singing along, you feel like never listening to them again, but you repeat the song.

Sad old news I guess, The Early November is coming to an end. Its not one of those band break-ups over rehab and ego, they just want to live normal lives. Its only been a year since they were introduced to me and I fell in love with them. They have that garage band sound that is appealing to me, but their last and what turns out to be their final album, The Mother, The Mechanic And The Path was far from the amature feel.

An emotional story that spanned three discs was a unique and ambitious release and in my opinion, if it were a movie it would be a cult-classic. The skits or 'sessions' on the third disc, The Path are snippets from one of the characters counseling sessions and I think it gave the album a true and honest feel.

My favorite songs from The Mother, The Mechanic And The Path are 1000 Times A Day and A Bigger Meaning. Something That Produces Results is my favorite song from The Early November.

I feel compelled to write about my adventures the other day. I'm the type of person who like to be prepared for any situation. I'd plan a simple trip to the grocery store but before I go I'd break down and analyze traffic, parking, map out my course and unsuccessfully attempt to estimate a round-about total. All of these I believe would maximize my time and basically make life easier.

This particular day I was out of my element. Sitting around preparing to catch a match between AC Milan and Manchester United I realize I might be...how do I put this....hungry. I decide on tuna and crackers, I already have the tuna but I don't have the crackers. Perfect opportunity to enjoy the weather and also a chance to make yet another appearance at my local Publix. It seems like I go 3 times a week.I'm there to get a single package of Ritz crackers...but I make a stop for fresh fruit, sushi, soup, Ben & Jerry's (I had a coup) and Dew. I ended up with 11 items but continue towards the '10 items or less' aisle, bad man I am. I get up to the register and just so happens I forgot my card. I mean its not in my wallet, where else could it be? Lately I've been utilizing the chest pocket on my button up shirts. I place receipts and sometimes my card in it when I don't feel like reaching into my right ass cheek for my wallet.

Before the cashier scans my stuff I try to hurry and refill my hand basket. It took a while to take all 11 items off of the conveyer and there was a line. All of the planning I do not to look like an ass, I do anyway. I'm reverse shopping, going up and down aisles putting food back. I wanted to just hide the basket in one of the freezers in the frozen foods aisle but I think about the joke I heard from Dane Cook's Retaliation. He says never leave your basket, not even for a second. 'God forbid somebody comes in the store and wants the exact same shit. And they're like, jackpot, this is everything I wanted'.

_What was supposed to be a 15 minute outing turned into 45. And what a waste of time writing and reading this_

The Wrong Way (Haha)

2007-04-24T12:37:00.000-05:00

Haha I'm up and down, down and up
I'm the reverb, feedback and drowning out
Can you hear, in the back, where I'm coming from?
I'll dumb it down and numb it up to negative sums...

The Antagonist of irony and catch-22's
A waste of time and space so what's the news
Just the same sad novel so what's the use
Screwed if I don'ts and screwed if I do's

Haha, I'm such a cliche, unoriginal faker
I lack creativity, non assertive shit-taker
Dependent coward, 'preciate your wisdom
Constructive criticism..

Have you got it out of your system?
Have you got it out of your system!
Have I got you out of my system?
Have I got you out of my system!

Haha, Take it the wrong way, Love
I've had a such a long, long day of
Rapid heartbeats, over inflated lungs
Fear and panic, oh thankyou, yourewelcome!

Take it The Wrong Way, you'll get over it
Take it The Wrong Way, you'll get over it
Am I over you? Am I over you? Am I over you?
I am a lover of you, I am a lover of you, I am a lover of you!

Haha, Haha, Haha...

Sarcasm. It might make a pretty good song though. It's all good and my soul is at ease...for now. Its just a stupid blog. I talk about songs and movies I like and ramble on about my woes. Thats all.

The Becoming Tree

2007-04-19T11:39:00.000-05:00

The Becoming Tree

I'm a fan of the Silversun Pickups. The Becoming Tree is an image that appears on the front page of their site and somewhat resembles their Carnavas album cover. Actually, all of the artwork on their site is amazing - to me at least. [I've got a weird taste in everything by the way] And so I can waste energy and give the cliche metaphors of the tree; from the roots, and branches, and leaves, blah, blah, blah and compare then to my life - but I won't. Just check out the image, their link is on the right side of the page.

Carnavas is one of the classic albums in my opinion. Each song takes me away and I don't want them to end. I'd give anything to see a live performance. I'm not a groupie or jumping on the bandwagon, its just great music. [Yes, you introduced me to them] I was listening to the radio one morning, The New Morning X on 99.7 and they were interviewing Carson Daily. He says he found them on Pandora and fell in love with them. They actually played his Late Late Show for a few days.

I hope they stay Indie forever, whatever that means. There are tons of great Indie bands out there. There is a lot of great music out there, I love it. It gets me through this life. The distortion of Carnavas, the graphics and music is perfection to me. The hazy voice and lyrics, I'm in heaven just listening to this album, this song in particular. Dream At Tempo 119. I don't want that song to end, I don't want to wake up, I don't want to open my eyes, I don't want the dream to end. Its Great.

Dream At Tempo 119

I took my seat and stared
At the cardboard screen while no one cared
While the lights stayed on
The familiar buzz was now long gone
I just waited there
As the music soared into the air
As the lights went down
She said don't open your eyes

At tempo 119
They took to the crowd and aimed towards me
As the circle closed
I held onto the one with splintered clothes
Twenty years before
She said don't open your eyes and you can swim
All my friends ignored
She said don't open your eyes

Don’t open your eyes
And said goodnight
Don't open your eyes
And said goodnight

...

I couldn't end it there
As her wooden bones grew through her skin
Crumbled naturally
As her limbs and leaves had broken free
Twenty years before
She said don't open your eyes and you can swim
Wanted nothing more
She said don't open your eyes

Don’t open your eyes
And said goodnight
Don't open your eyes
And said goodnight

Awesome! 'I took my seat and stared...while no one cared'. When Brian says 'I couldn't end it there' I get a major adrenaline rush. These are my meds.

_Life happens. From the minor end of the spectrum; such as my link to the world, my Sidekick II Queened out on me, (Another One Bites The Dust...I apologize) I handled that and obtained another one through eBay. My windshield gets shattered and I BTO'd that (Bachman-Turner Overdrive...'Taking Care Of Business', that's the last one). I come home from work and take a nap. I wake up to go to Publix and I see a note under my windshield which looks like it just came back from Iraq, and ready for re-deployment. The letter reads: 'Please Contact So and So. Re: Your Windshield.' Re: Your Windshield? You don't f'ing say?_

_On to things on the major end of the life spectrum such as my freshly wounded heart and oh yeah, my mom and step-father are getting a divorce after 19 years of marriage. Peachy. But I'll bang it out, like CT always wants to do. I like the Bostonian dialect and slang. Good Will Hunting and Dignan (Whalberg) from The Departed. 'Hey, I forgot the password, but if you'd like to come down to the garage with me I'd be happy to give it to you.'_

She said don't open your eyes.

On to current events which I don't normally mention. It all comes down to why I love baseball. From little league to the majors. Recently was the anniversary of Jackie Robinson breaking the color barrier for all of professional sports. Players were given to wear the number 42, which is now retired and isn't allowed to be worn at all, in honor of Robinson.

Within the next couple of days the Virginia Tech Tragedy took place. The Washington Nationals played the Braves the following night and after the second inning, The Nationals all wore Virginia Tech Hokie caps. A great tribute and memorial for the victims, their families and friends and school. I thought that was cool.

peace

The Characters

2007-04-15T16:06:00.000-05:00

The Characters

From the opening credits of our lives, or the shrinkwrap tediously removed from our cases, we've been playing the roles casted to us, playing the parts orchestrated for us - The Characters.

The headliners or celebrities in only a few lives we feature in, and extras and backgrounds in every other film or album. Except there are no auditions or read throughs. Sound checks or rehearsals are nonexistent. In fact, its all improvs and jam sessions - unscripted and unplugged.

On the other hand, we are behind the scenes as directors of our own world. Only we have no editing, no takes or redos - and its all perfect. The Unrated Extended Redux Directors Cut Collectors Limited Edition Edition. Special Features include Unconscious Commentary, Regrettable Un-Deleted Scenes and Behind The Scenes Dream Sequence.

_I finally received my brand newish replacement sidekick from eBay. I would say I missed it, but the way certain things are going, there are things of more importance that I miss and I can hardly compare that to a handheld device_

rollcredits

The All Time Low

2007-04-11T16:26:00.000-05:00

The All Time Low

All Time Low I believe is a pretty good band...if you still like the 'emo' genre which I can't seem to shake. Melee is pretty good too, they are more of a soul rock. Courtesy of purevolume.com

_I haven't reached my all time low. Wait, is it something you reach for? I haven't fallen to my all time low and for the time being I don't believe I ever will. Spoke with my therapist today as I have for the previous three weeks. Everything seems to be going well for me on the outside ever since my first visit. 'On the outside' I said, 'I have nothing to complain about. Career wise. I'm comfortable...the fact that I'm 23 satisfies me becasue I know I'm not going to be at that place forever, its only temporary. And come to think of it most of the things I worry about are only temporary such as my living situation, my financial situation and things like that." And she cuts me off, I thought they weren't supposed to do that. 'Todd' says she, 'Let's change pace for a second. Let me ask you, when are you going to stop beating yourself up about your percieved failures and in turn regrets? Do you ever feel any form of accomplishment when you do things right?' My response, 'I don't know if its possible for me to stop beating myself up and when I feel like I've done something right it feels like it was something that was supposed to happen. I feel like I had nothing to do with it and things just fell into place. People sacrifice themselves anddo great things all of the time' And at that moment an epiphany fell into my lap. 'And people also make mistakes all of the time'...and thats true. I'm sick of regrets. I can't change the past no matter how much I wish to do so. I do however have some power to change, or effect the future. Some believe their 'fate' is already laid out for them. I don't. I'm only 23. Some poeple will love me and some poeple will not. Do I choose the people I love? Do I choose the people I do not love? Do I choose to love myself? Everything will not go as I planned and I will not get everything I want. I'm only 23. At times I feel extremely ambitious. At this point I feel exactly that. I'm excited to even have the chance to live this life. I have a future. We all can do whatever we want to. We can accomplish whatever we want. I still have dreams and goals and I'm only 23. I love life. I couldnt say that weeks ago. I'm okay._

_The All Time Alrightness_

I'm still waiting on my sidekick. It crapped out on me about two weeks ago and I've been off the radar. Withdrawl...not yet. 72 hours from it.

I care so much for you and if time will tell, then I will make time my friend. Whatever it takes.

The Golden Rule

2007-04-04T10:36:00.000-05:00

The Golden Rule

Fall Out Boy's song is stirring. The powerful piano notes, the voice, the tone. Perfect for now, the right now.

How cruel is the golden rule,
When the lives we lived are only golden plated.
And I knew that the lights of the city were too heavy for me,
Though I carried karats for everyone to see.

And I saw God cry in the reflection of my enemies,
And all the lovers with no time for me,
And all the mothers raise their babies to stay away from me.

Tongues on the sockets of electric dreams,
When the sewage of youth drowned the spark of my teens.
And I knew that the lights of the city were too heavy for me,
Though I carried karats for everyone to see.

And I saw God cry in the reflection of my enemies,
And all the lovers with no time for me,
And all the mothers raise their babies to stay away from me,
And pray they don't grow up to be.

_When you type in my blog in the address bar...burningstar7.blogspot.com, you may ask yourself what is Burning Star? What does this mean to him? 7? What is up with this? Or maybe not. I want to explain that. Burning Star kind of came from Coheed & Cambria, but I put my own interpretation to it. I ruined things, friendships and relationships because of my flaws or whatever you want to call it, dishonesty. And those friends have a perspective of dislike and distrust for me and in human nature they are justified. I don't blame them but I'm also over beating myself up over that. Maybe its also time to forgive and let go and maybe not, I'm not the one to say when its time, its when they are comfortable. But the Burning Star is what I want to be for them. They may be going through their own issues and being the person I am I want to call, help and give advice. I want their lives to be happy. So when its a cold dark night, they feel hopeless and want to run away...literaly...run away, they can look up and see a star, like the north star was used as navigation for early sailors. I'm not a hero, I cant make everything better but I am a friend for you. For all of you and you know that. I'm always going to be here. So Golden by Fall Out Boy is kind of the epitome of this post, its all in how you interpret it. Treat others the way you want to be treated. But, if you make a mistake which we all do...you are looked at like a fake, an imitation. Golden plated. Friends, you all are precious to me and I care. I'm polishing up, Midas and I are in talks. We are negotiating. I'm also speaking with a few alchemists. Seriously though...don't run. See me, I'm Burning for you, all of you. I'll do anything for you. Flee not._

Todd

The Last Kiss

2007-03-16T18:29:00.000-05:00

The Last Kiss

_I hope I haven't had my last kiss...with you. It is one of my favorite movies and right now, its the best soundtrack. Its cliched the soundtrack to my life..at this moment. I'm definitely in love with you. No one who knows us can deny that. But the music...back to the music, I can cut and paste the lyrics of every song on The Last Kiss Soundtrack and each one would explain exactly how I feel. My exact thoughts. If anyone cares, just listen to the soundtrack for me, and give me a call. I need it. I need something. I have a heart...I feel...I'm sorry if I let any of you down. You guys know me, I'm still Todd_

Snow Patrol
Chocolate

This could be the very minute
I'm aware I'm alive
All these places feel like home

With a name I'd never chosen
I can make my first steps
As a child of 25

This is the straw, final straw in the
Roof of my mouth as I lie to you
Just because I'm sorry doesn't mean
I didn't enjoy it at the time

You're the only thing that I love
It scares me more every day
On my knees I think clearer

Goodness knows I saw it coming
Or at least I'll claim I did
But in truth I'm lost for words

What have I done it's too late for that
What have I become truth is nothing yet
A simple mistake starts the hardest time
I promise I'll do anything you ask...this time

_wow_

Imogen Heap
Hide and Seek

Where are we? What the hell is going on?
The dust has only just begun to form,
Crop circles in the carpet, sinking, feeling.
Spin me round again and rub my eyes.
This can't be happening.When busy streets a mess with people
Would stop to hold their heads heavy.

Hide and seek.
Trains and sewing machines.

All those years they were here first.
Oily marks appear on walls
Where pleasure moments hung before.
The takeover, the sweeping insensitivity of this still life.

Hide and seek.
Trains and sewing machines.
Blood and tears,They were here first.

Mmm, what you say?Mm, that you only meant well?
Well, of course you did.
Mmm, what you say?Mm, that it's all for the best?
Ah of course it is.
Mmm, what you say?Mm, that it's just what we need?
And you decided this.
Mmm what you say?What did she say?

Ransom notes keep falling out your mouth.
Mid-sweet talk, newspaper word cut-outs.
Speak no feeling, no I don't believe you.
You don't care a bit. You don't care a bit.

Ransom notes keep falling out your mouth.
Mid-sweet talk, newspaper word cut-outs.
Speak no feeling, no I don't believe you.
You don't care a bit.You don't care a bit.

_futile attempt...to no avail...defeated_

La Science des Reves (The Science of Sleep)

2007-03-14T09:29:00.000-05:00

La Science des Reves (The Science of Sleep)

"PSR, Parallel Synchronized Randomness. An interesting rarity and our subject today. Two people walk in opposite directions at the same time and then make the same decisions at the same time. Then they correct it, and then they correct it, and then they correct it, and then they correct it. Basically in a mathematical world these two little guys will stay looped until the end of time. The brain is the most complex thing in the universe, and its right behind the nose."

What Stephane described in The Science of Sleep is when one is walking toward another individual, one moves to their right to avoid another. The other moves to their left, mirroring the other. Then a correction is made, one moves to their left and the other moves to their right. Then another correction, so on and so on. Everyone over the age of 14 has experienced this type of Parallel Synchronized Randomness or PSR at least once.My example is the TPS. No not the TPS report, not talking cover sheets and memos.. Transferred Pandiculation Syndrome. Otherwise known as Contagious Yawn Reflex. Some may have experienced this type of PSR. Have you ever yawned and before you finished, one close to you has begun? Or has it happened the other way around where the yawn was transferred to you? Studies say mirror neurons activate an imitating impulse, the same way we learn languages and accents. Just writing this I have yawned several times, have you, in reading this?

Coheed & Cambria
The Second Stage Turbine Blade
Godsend Conspirator

Hold in your last breath and stare.
Assure me your metronome's left arm stick shift
Is stuck on the right words in your ear.
Did you hear me loud and clear?
In sight and out of mind?

Cautiously avoiding the cracks
Not to disturb your steadied arm straight line.
The facts before a climb...
A plan before a crime.

Tired in the days that passed away
Sporadically arranged across the floor when you've got it made.

Dear Mariah, the world's not big enough for the both of us
When we live in the same town, that's wrong.
Fight on fire (fight on fire), burn my hands 'til I got nothing left
To count my numbers on that's wrong, what's wrong?

Your wise ass comments could cheer you up.
The emotional disturbance: relax, deep breathe, sit back
From the space in which you stand,
Here and in demand.

Don't touch a fresh wound that bleeds
All over your carpets the stains, the story book remains,
And the page that states you've lied.
Accept and then reply, acknowledge the other guy

Tired in the days that passed away
Sporadically arranged across the floor when you've got it made.

Dear Mariah, the world's not big enough for the both of us
When we live in the same town, that's wrong.
Fight on fire (fight on fire), burn my hands till I got nothing left
To count my numbers on

Don't change your mind when all's been won
Your words in time, with the loss that you'd let them go.
Don't let them fall if your grip's not strong in time decide...
with the words that you'd let them go

Don't let them fall if your grip's not strong.

_Its been suggested I'm an ass...Agreed, but not for long. Regrets...? Plenty. I've been gutted out, such as a house set for renovation. _

The Libertine

2007-02-14T14:08:00.000-05:00

'Allow me to be frank at the commencement. You will not like me. The gentlemen will be envious and the ladies will be repelled. You will not like me now and you will like me less as we go on... That is it. That is my prologue, nothing in rhyme, no protestations of modesty, you were not expecting that I hope. I am Todd Desmond Atkins and I do not want you to like me.'

I noticed the moon this morning driving to work. I almost forgot about it. I haven't seen it in a very long time...or haven't noticed it in a very long time. By the way, the 'commencement' is from The Libertine, the opening words from John Wilmont/Johnny Depp. Great movie!

Back to the moon! I was thinking, after noticing it, if we weren't taught in school that this was just a moon and it has been there for centuries, what would we think of it. Before astrology, what did the earliest thinkers believe the moon was. Because now it feels like my first time seeing it, and if I didn't remember what I was taught I would be amazed.

It is a bright crescent moon. I wonder what the Native Americans thought of it. I wonder what the Africans thought of it. The Aztecs and Mayans. If it had a role in their beliefs or religions. If everyone had their own opinions before the so called facts came about through the study of and landing on, I wonder. Just like with Copernicus and Galileo. Was the Earth flat or round? Why is the moon there? Where did it come from? Planets, orbits, very amazing. My life is becoming Sci-fi.

Back to Earth. The 'compromising' planet. Maybe its not a good idea. Maybe next time.
Maybe never. 'But life is not a succession of urgent nows. Its a listless trickle of why should I's.' People are so weird sometimes, it makes me question my sanity...or the sanity of my company. By company I don't mean business.

'I don't mean to upset people, but I must speak my mind. For what's in my mind is far more interesting than what's outside my mind.'

Coheed & Cambria
Good Apollo, I'm Burning Star IV
"Wake Up"

I'm going to ride this plane out of your life again.
I wish that I could stay but you argue.
More than this I wish you could've seen my face
In backseat staring out...of the window.

I'll do anything for you,
Kill anyone for you.

So leave yourself intact
'Cause I will be coming back.
In a phrase to cut these lips,
I love you.

The morning will come
In the press of every kiss
With your head upon my chest
Where I will annoy you
With every waking breath
Until you decide to wake up.

I've earned through hope and faith
From the curves around your face
That I'm the one you'll hold forever.
If morning never comes for either one of us,
Then this I pray to you...wherever.

I'll do anything for you,
This story is for you.

So leave yourself intact
'Cause I won't be coming back.
In a phrase to cut these lips
I loved you.

The morning will come
In the press of every kiss
With your head upon my chest
Where I will annoy you
With every waking breath
Until you decide to wake up.

_perfecto_

The Writer

2007-01-30T15:13:00.000-05:00

I am The Writer. I am a fan of music and movies. My writings will parallel this with quotes and lyrics. This is only an illustration...a conventional representation as you will...of me.

I must get this out of the way. Coheed & Cambria, awesome band...very misunderstood. Claudio Sanchez, lead singer. A voice not to be duplicated. Genius songwriter. The collection of albums released by Coheed & Cambria are all part of a Sci-Fi/Horror/Romance story, conceived in the mind of Claudio. That is why my friends, that is why I am into these guys.

Now, you could have read that on any fan-based site but I felt it was required of me to as an explaination for what follows...

Coheed & Cambria
In Keeping Secrets Of Silent Earth: 3
[excerpts from The Light & The Glass]

Slowly the pen touches paper in the guidance of the words that you write.
Memories roll in; of the things you once did
and who you had shared them with...is somebody thinking of you?
Did I bother telling you this, with the words that cross teeth and jump lips?
A poor choice of words, in wanting to tell you anything.
But words don't come with ease.
They're forever my hurt.

_My relativity with the previous lyrics is undeniable. Words aren't easy to come by, espeacially when expressing something of great importance, of great weight. Words can be regretable but not retractable. If I ever say or write anything it is true and honest, if it hurts or not_